The difference of 14 pounds...

So tonight was my third 1/2 marathon clinic. I missed the tempo run yesterday because I had to run with my Learn to Run clinic, but I realized as I was plugging along on the 5.6k run we had tonight that I am doing a tempo run when I run with the clinic. My average pace alone is around a 7 minute kilometer.  When I'm with the 1/2 marathon clinic I run at a 6:34 pace or better. Tonight was better.  I ran 6:32 per kilometer.  I was tired when I was done, but felt great!

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamt that I got lost during a clinic run and ended up running for hours alone.  When My clinic instructor Carol found me, she told me that I ran the equivalent of a full marathon and perhaps the 1/2 marathon clinic wasn't the right fit for me.  As if!  I can't keep up with the serious runners in my clinic, so I know that I am right where I'm supposed to be!

I don't know if I said this during my last couple of posts or not...I love running!  Running has changed my body, allowed me to eat more than most people and been the best therapy I could invest in.  Check out these pictures.  There is a 14 pound difference and at first I didn't think it was very noticeable, but I can definitely see it in my arms, boobs, hips and abdomen. Not so much in my legs.  And although I still follow mostly Phase 2 of Dr. Poon's Diet, I will admit that I have never measured the measurable veggies. I have always eaten as much as I want because running takes care of any additional calories for me.  I have also been following some of maintenance this month, mostly on long run days because I burn 1000+ calories during those runs.  We'll see how or if that affects the scale next month.

A couple of weeks ago, my elderly neighbor cat called me!  Shocking I know, but it's in his nature to do something so crass.  So he sees me about a week ago and apologizes by saying that he hopes I wasn't offended, he was just shocked when he saw me.  Said he couldn't get over my body and my long black hair.  My hair is brown and ick that he was looking at my body!  He also said that if he was younger, my husband had better watch out...or something to that effect. Then he says that my hubby had better put a chastity belt on me. WTF does that mean?  That I'm gonna start sleeping around because I lost weight?  Or am I a slut?  My parents taught me to be polite to my elders, so I just smiled, got in my car and drove away.  I'm letting it go because he's likely developing dementia or something.

I bought a pair of size 10 (very) skinny jeans a few weeks ago that I couldn't do up.  I tried them on last night...and they fit!  Picture to come soon.  I'm going out with my BFF Nokomis tomorrow night.  Perhaps I will wear those skinny jeans and get her to snap me.  She a professional photographer and I'm sure she'll take a much better picture than my regular photog (my 5 year old son).  Good night beautiful people, and I hope all of my American friends had a very Happy Thanksgiving that does not find them regretting anything in the morning:)

Food is fuel NOT therapy

It took me 41 years to realize this.  I used to eat for comfort, out of boredom, for entertainment.  I have been successful at weight loss.  One of the most important things I changed to make this journey successful was the way I thought about food.  I used to obsess over food.  It would be the first thing I thought of when I woke up, and the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep.  Food controlled me. It made me happy, and miserable.  It was my best friend and my worst enemy.

When I explain to those who ask how I have lost weight and detail the diet I've followed, they often scoff and say, "I could never be so limited in my eating".  I usually just nod and move on.  It's not my place to make judgments.  But in my head I'm judging.  What if the option is limiting what you eat or dying young riddled with disease that could have been avoided?  Would you limit what you eat then?  I didn't get it until last year.  Even though I was morbidly obese, I made excuses and justified my obesity. I argued that I was still fairly healthy so therefore had time to adopt a healthier lifestyle later on.  Just another cop out if you ask me.

I'm not going to dwell on the what ifs.  I've played this over and over in my head during the last year enough times that I have ALMOST let it go. What if I did this years ago?  What if I was able to make the changes I needed to when I was 31, or even 21?  Well truth be told, I just wasn't ready then.  You absolutely need to be in the right mindset or whatever diet you are entertaining will not work.  This is where the yo-yo diet effect enters the equation.  You are either ready or you are not. I know that the people who need to make lifestyle changes and scoff at  my eating plan are just not ready to make the change in their own life.  And maybe they never will be ready.  This is a lifetime commitment, not something that you do until you reach goal before going back to your old ways.  Changing your whole lifestyle is hard work.  If it was easy, everyone would do it and we would all be fit!

If you want something bad enough, you will do it.  For whatever reason, something clicked in my head and I was ready.  Perhaps it was for the love of a child.  Perhaps I finally discovered the love I had for myself.  Either way, the planets aligned and I was able to commit to something I have failed miserably with the past 30+ years.  I have dieted consistently over those 30+ years and lost and gained weight.  The past 14 months is the longest I have ever stuck to a "diet".  That is because I have accepted that this is now my lifestyle.  It is my "normal".  I will have to do this for the rest of my life.

Others wonder how I can walk away from tempting treats and my old trigger foods.  It's very simple.  The food I put in my body now is fuel so that I can run my next 12k.  I eat so I can function at work during the day.  I eat so I can keep up with my 5-year-old.  I eat so that I can enjoy every other aspect of my life that I missed out on because I was morbidly obese.  I eat to keep myself healthy.

At this moment, I am the healthiest I have been in my entire life.  I have worked hard to get to where I am today.  Eating junk and processed crap is just going to get me back to where I started and I have invested too much time, energy, sweat and tears to go back to 300 pounds. Squandering my investment would be bad business.  Very bad business indeed.  Perhaps the single most important thing I have learned over the past year is that I am definitely worth investing in.  Think long and hard about where you are in your journey.  Aren't you worth the investment?  Be kind to yourself, you definitely are!

The post about a mountain run, free coffee and winter vegetables

Yesterday morning was a hard one for me.  I procrastinated until 10am when I finally hauled my ass out the door for my long run.  I don't know what was wrong with me.  It was cold but sunny.  A nice crisp morning for a run.  It's getting harder and harder to do long runs by myself.  I'm not going to run more than 12k by myself.  I'm ahead of the half marathon group in long run mileage, and in a few more weeks, I can do my long runs with them.  I just have to finish up the clinic I'm currently teaching.

Me at the fork.  I took the path to the left.  If you look closely,
you can see the reflection of an overpass in my glasses.
I'll explain in a minute!

I ran 12k on the trail near my house.  You know, the same one with the fork in the path.  I decided to be a bit adventurous and see where one of the paths went.  I took the windy path to my right and ended up...at the top of the escarpment!  I don't know why I didn't realize I was at the top last week.  The path ended about 400 meters from the fork and brought me to a residential neighborhood.  So this is what I learned.  It's exactly 6.5k from my front door to the top of the Niagara Escarpment via the Rail Trail.  I took a few minutes to explore my surroundings and when I saw the intersection where the trail ends, I was quite far from home.  I felt great though because even though I bitch and moan about going out for my run, once I'm out and about, I love the way I feel.  I really do love running. I was just pissed that I didn't get my butt out the door sooner. I had a late start to the rest of my day because of all my procrastination.

Although we call the
escarpment "the Mountain",
It's not really a mountain.

I took this from the overpass you see in the
reflection of my glasses.  That's my trail...heading
back down the escarpment.

Funny story to share.  I did my long drive to Peterborough on Friday. All in all I drove almost 600k by the time my day was done. On my way back from Peterborough to Hamilton, I stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities and grab a coffee.  As I walk into the Tim Horton's there are four young construction workers sitting at a table.  The place was dead because it was in a pretty desolate area.  I can tell by the way they're looking at me that they're talking about me and I immediately get all anxious.  I hurry into the women's washroom and do what I need to do, then leave and make my way to the counter without making eye contact with anyone.

I order my coffee and just after I place my order, one of the VERY young men slides up next to me and says, "I'll pay for that".  I respectfully decline his offer and he smiles and says he insists.  I tell him again that I can pay for my own coffee, and he just looks at the confused girl behind the cash and says, "I'm paying for her coffee".  So he pays for my coffee and asks, "Are you from around here?".  I tell him that I am not, and I am on my way home to my son and husband.  I quickly thank him for my coffee and leave in haste while his friends start laughing at him.

So I get home and tell my husband this story.  I've been getting attention from men lately, and most of them are very young men.  Like in their 20's young men.  I'm shocked and a bit confused. My husband tells me that when he was in his twenties, he also went with older women because they were easier to "score".  Well I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted.  Did the construction worker think I was younger than I am, or does he think I'm desperate?  After much deliberation and thought, I've decided to not care because I got a free coffee out of it!  Score for me! And as a side note, I wear my wedding band 24/7.  Some men have no scruples.

I love eating the way I do now.  I love winter vegetables and have forgotten how much I loved brussel sprouts, rutabaga, parsnips, turnip, squash.  And my crock pot is being used almost everyday.  I'm making roasts, curried chicken, Bolognese sauce, stews and soups.  I swear that I eat better meals now than I ever did when I was my heaviest.  My husband concurs.  Every time I make something new, he says it's his new favorite dish.  He's mastered the making of the ratatouille and is ready to move onto something more complex.  Perhaps we will do the curried chicken with parsnips tomorrow.  This was his new favorite dish two weeks ago.

Last week a nutritionist came to my clinic to discuss nutrition for runners.  She said that runners needed to have carbs for fuel.  She was talking about pasta, cereal...those kinds of carbs.  I didn't say anything, but I run 40k per week and I only eat carbs that I get from veggies and fruits.  When I started running, I ate even less carbs than I do now.  I'm full of energy and don't feel tired or sluggish on my runs. Something that I have thought about that makes me a bit nervous is once I start getting into longer distances and I have to fuel during the run (ie: Gu), it may not sit well with me.  I haven't had anything like that in my body for 14 months.  I'm scared I'll get the runs while I'm running.  And that would be truly shitty!