The post about remembering those I love, getting stripped (again), and being incognito

One of the few memories I have of my birth mother.  Taken April 2010.

• I had a good cry today.  It was one year ago that I lost my birth mother.  Our relationship was a short one. Only 30 months. But it was an important relationship for me.  We were just getting to know each other when she was taken away.  I blogged about this a year ago.  You can read that post here. Thinking of her inevitably makes me think of the mother (who raised me) and who I lost over 10 years ago.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about both of these amazing women.  Both played an important role in my life, just at different times.  Miss you and wish you were here. You are always in my heart.
• Wow! I just read my post from a year ago and it made me cry all over again. 
• Julien is super excited about Halloween tonight.  He's dressed up as Luigi (from Super Mario Brothers).  He was Mario last year.  I found his costume at Value Village for $5, sans the hat.  Wasn't sure what to do about the hat.  So I had an "a-ha" moment in the car on Tuesday.  I took one of my hubby's old hats, covered it in kelly green felt (with a glue gun), pasted a white felt "L" to the front and voila! A costume that cost me $7. The gloves were left overs from Mario's costume last year.
• I'm hoping and praying the inclement weather we are expected holds off until Trick or Treat time is over. I have A LOT of candy I need to shell out!  Would be very bad for hubby if it doesn't get given away.  He has no will power.
• I'm roasting a chicken right now and having sauteed broccoli with red peppers and onions for a side. That is all.

Just in case you were wondering, and I know you were, this is what I look like
when I'm getting stripped.

• Yesterday I had my calves and my neck stripped by my massage therapist.  The calves hurt like a mother effer, and my massage therapist commented that he was glad that I found Jesus.  The neck was not nearly as bad but if my eyes were not open in the above (right) picture, I would have looked like I was dead.
• I also went to physio last night and Graham told me that I was VERY close to running again.  Honest to God I wanted to kiss him full on the lips.  But that would have been wrong on so many levels. He's very young, he's in a committed relationship, I'm married...and HELLO? He's my physio therapist.  So I abstained.  But I did do a happy dance in front of him.
• I went to see Ron today.  He's the assistant manager at the Running Room.  We shot the shit for about 20 minutes.  We chatted about my comeback to running and he suggested, and I agreed, that I'm going to follow the Learn to Run program for a couple of weeks before I head into 1/2 marathon training.  Thanks for the suggestion Ron!
• I contemplated registering for the Chilly 1/2 Marathon again this year.  It was my 1st half marathon.  I decided not to.  For several reasons, but financial was the main one. Instead I'm going to volunteer at that race.  It is a nostalgic run for me and I want to participate any way I can.
• I have been eating on plan over the past couple of weeks.  I have not posted my food journal because in my opinion, it's super boring and super repetitive.  I just eat the exact same things every single day. I know that can't be very inspirational, but it's the truth.  I need a sound whipping. I swear I'm not a masochist. 

Cheap gas!!!!! I think I did pretty damn good with that Luigi hat!

• Heather was kind enough to give me some porn literature suggestions.  I have read them all.  Just for the record, I also enjoyed all books written by Rachel Gibson.  I'm not just stuck in historical romance.
• Yesterday I met a new client who lives in Brantford.  This is very exciting for me.  Not only is it only 35 minutes from Hamilton, but it also means cheap gas! I am a hop, skip and a jump away from the Grand River First Nation.  I paid 96 cents per liter for gas yesterday.  I would have paid $1.23 for it anywhere else.  The perks of having a gas card!
• I had a meeting at another work location this morning.  I saw the woman who covered my maternity leave.  She made no indication of recognizing me.  Even when I addressed her.  My colleague called her back and said, "do you know my colleague?" to which she answered that she did not.  Once I started really talking to her, she finally recognized who I was and said, "It's been a long time since I've seen you.  You look great!".  Always nice to hear.
• I also saw my former supervisor from when I used to work in residence.  He smiled at me, but I could tell from the vacant look in his eyes, he did not know who I was.
• Happy Halloween everyone!  It's raining right now.  Guess hubby's going to get wet!

The post about an ultrasound, a 120th anniversary and literature at it's finest

The lovely mitt and hat set that Aunt Rose made.

• Yesterday I was up at 5am and didn't get home till after 10pm.  I spent my morning in court (to support a client), I was in the office in the afternoon, then I headed to my dad's place in Scarborough where he treated me to dinner, then I headed over to Scarborough General Hospital for the ultrasound appointment on my foot, then I headed to Tim Horton's in Scarborough to meet with a Dr. Poon support group.  I was a very busy beaver...And that was the longest run on sentence EVER!
• I have been getting up at 5am for about a week now.  I'm not sure what that's all about. I just wake up and lie in bed until I know that I'm not going back to sleep, then I get up and make coffee.  I have also been feeling anxious about something, I'm just not sure what it is.  Money? Work? Car problems? Those are on-going and nothing new.  I have a feeling I'm anxious about going away for an overnight with my hubby this weekend.  It will be the first time we leave Julien with someone besides one of us. I know I'm worrying for nothing. Uncle Ross will do an awesome job!
• Yesterday I became the proud owner of a lovely mitt and hat set. My colleague's aunt knitted a couple of big bags full of knitted hats, scarves, mitts, shawls.  I don't often wear hats in the winter, but I thought the set was cute and I liked the colors.  I think they're adorable.  I will likely wear it when I run.
• When I went for my foot ultrasound yesterday, I told the technician that I never knew they could ultrasound feet.  The technician told me that a doctor will order it if they suspect Morton's Neuroma. It's not a very common practice.  She spent about 15 minutes saving images of my foot.  By the time she was done I had so much of that ultrasound goop on my foot that it looked like I stepped into a vat of slime.  It was not pleasant to clean up.  I have to call my doctor's office tomorrow to get the date of the appointment that they booked for me with the specialist. Now that I've had the ultrasound and the x-ray, I get to go speak to the specialist who will tell me that I need surgery.  I already know how this is going to go down.  Since 6 adjustments did not work on my orthotics, my only other option will be surgery. Not going to happen.  I'd rather be a half marathon runner exclusively than have my feet cut open. I was already told that the success rate of surgery for Morton's Neuroma was only 50%.  Not good enough odds for me.  I will still run a marathon next fall.  No matter what they tell me, I want to complete at least one to say that I did.
• Hmmmmmmm, maybe that also has something to do with my anxiety...

Hubby and I are half way down the list.

• This year marks the 120th anniversary of the Around the Bay Road Race. I felt a moment of nostalgia this morning and even though I still can't run for three more weeks. I registered for the 30K race.  I'm excited and nervous at the same time.  I'm nervous about running again all together.  What if I die during my first run?  It's been 8 weeks since I have run.  Whoa! That is a long freaking time.  I'm just nervous about struggling. I know I won't be starting from where I was when I first started running at 230 pounds, but I'm still anxious about what it will be like.  What if my breathing is way off? What if my ankle hurts? What if I try to avoid a little old lady and her dog and fall over on an uneven piece of pavement? She is so going down this time! KIDDING! 
• Well since I have registered and paid for The Bay, I am committed. This means that no matter what happens in the next 5 months, I am running or walking that race.  I'm sure I''ll be running it all the way, but my confidence as a runner has waned significantly.  
• Last night I met with a group of great people at a Tim Horton's in Scarborough for some coffee and conversation.  It was my second time meeting all of them except one.  I had the pleasure of meeting Paula for the first time!  We discussed highs and lows of weight loss, strategies for making the lifestyle change and struggles.  It's always great to offer and get support from others.  I look forward to seeing them again in December.
• Today Suzanne told me that my face divot dimple left over from my shattered cheek bone was sexy. I'll take it!
• I had to do a grocery shop tonight after I ate dinner.  We had less than nothing left for food. Even the dog had no food.  I hate grocery shopping.  Maybe even more than I hate feet.

I am definitely getting lightup shoes for the
Around the Bay.  Julien would think it's cool.

• So a couple of posts ago, Heather said she wished I could mention what I'm reading because she is looking for prime porn literature to read as well.  So if you're not Heather, you can skip over the next few bullets. Well Heather, I'm not too shy to share the sordid details of my smut library.  I have since finished it, but the book I was reading in the x-ray waiting room was Scandalous Liaisons by Sylvia Day.  The book is made up of three novellas and they are all connected.  Like any good porn, the story line left a lot to be desired, but there was mucho action going on.  Those Regency Era folks were a feisty bunch! I borrow all my books electronically from the library. That way the library staff does not need to see the desperate woman who signs out so many erotica books.  Who knew that the local library had so much porn available!
• I did enjoy reading the Spindle Cove series by Tessa Dare.  She's quite humorous in her writing, and I found her characters to be very likable.  Now her books are less smutty and more fun to read. There is still some prime sex in them though, don't get me wrong. The added bonus is that there's a lot more story to go along with it.  My favorite book was the last one, Any Duchess Will Do.  Such a corny title!
• Now if you want a really good book that has it all, I loved Addicted and Sinful by Charlotte Featherstone.  Very good books.  I remember feeling so sad while reading them.  They weren't the cliche historical romance books I tend to rush through.  Both stories were quite heart wrenching and really touched me.  I did the unthinkable too.  I never read books twice (unless they were required reading for university or To Kill a Mockingbird which I've read three times just because) but I read Sinful twice.
• Loved Marc's comment from a few posts ago...A Paleo matchmatcher maker service!?! I believe back in the day it was club 'em over the head and drag them back to the cave;). Marc never fails to crack me up!
• Well I'm off to bed.  I'm hopeful that I will get more than 4.5 hours of sleep tonight.  I feel dead tired right now, but I feel like this every night.  I have a massage in the morning. Maybe that will help calm my nerves.  Good night all:)

The post about Lou Reed, Olympian Reid Coolsaet and an AWESOME half marathon

Reid Coolsaet ran by me so fast I could a) feel his wind, and b) all his pictures
were blurry.  Hubby at 10K, Me holding Hailey's sign. Wheelchair athlete.

• Lou Reed died this morning.  I didn't learn this news until I was on my way to pick Julien up from my girlfriend Elin's house (she graciously babysat him for us this morning/afternoon)!  It was sad news for me. Lou Reed is one of those artists that makes me think of someone.  He makes me think of Elin. Elin is an infinitely important part of my life.   We talked about Lou Reed this afternoon.  She said the only person whose death affected her more greatly was John Candy's.  RIP Lou Reed.
• I woke up today at 5 am. I tossed and turned in bed for about 30 minutes until I finally gave in and got myself up.  Why was I up so early? Nerves, that's why.  You would have thought that I was running my first half marathon today.  All I had to do was show up and look pretty!  During the entire time I was in turmoil, my husband was fast asleep upstairs.
• We got ourselves out of the house by 8am, dropped Julien off at Elin's at 8:15am, then hit the road for Fort Erie.  The finish line was in Niagara Falls, but the start line was in Fort Erie, 7K from the border.  Gun time was 10am and I dropped hubby off for 9:30. He had to walk a couple of kilometers to the start line.
• I drove to about the 8K mark and waited to see my hubby, and more importantly Olympian Reid Coolsaet run by.  Reid ran by a mere 24 minutes into the race.  Honest to God he was a blur. I couldn't get a photo of him that was not blurry and I could feel his wind.  I swear I never saw his feet touch the ground either.  I screamed encouragement like a love sick school girl and he never heard a word of it I'm sure. Reid won the race with a time of 1:03:11.  Hubby ran by at around 58 minutes into the race, about 5 minutes before Reid finished.  Awesome!!!
• I met a couple of lovely ladies at the 8K mark.  We cheered on runners and I was loud. Surprise, surprise! I'm a little hoarse right now.  Awwwwwww, how cute would it be if I was a Shetland Pony? Sadly I am not.  But my voice is scratchy.  I high fived runners, screamed my lungs out, clapped until my hands were sore and held up one of Hailey's signs for her.  She had several.  Tons of fun.  
• The wheelchair athletes were amazing to see.  I'll think of them the next time I'm bitching and complaining about having to run in the cold.

Left: Hubby coming in for the big finish.
Top centre: Me at mile 26!! I'm a marathoner...not!
Top right: Hubby coming out of the corral.
Bottom centre: Check out the new half marathoner!
Bottom right: A selfie in front of the Niagara River.

• The winner of the marathon came in at 2:22:41.  Almost 6 minutes faster than my hubby ran his half.  I was standing by a woman at the finish line who insisted that we wouldn't see any marathoners for another 2 hours.  I told her that the elites would be rolling in any time after 2:15.  I knew there weren't any huge names running the full, so no records would be compromised. A Toronto boy won.  His pace was 3:24 per kilometer.  That is amazing.  She was shocked.
• When I saw my husband approach the finish line, I got a little verklempt.  I remember how emotional it was for me when I ran my first half.  I actually got teary when I saw the finish line.  I was soaked, cold and my feet hurt like the devil.  It's such a huge accomplishment and I was so proud of him. I knew he did not feel the same though. He felt happy to be done, but no big emotions for him.
• The first thing he said to me after he was done was, "I want to run a full".  I knew it!!!!
• While I was waiting for hubby to finish, a young man came to stand beside me to cheer on runners. He had run the half and was offering support to other runners.  I asked how he did, he said he didn't PB, but was still happy with his time.  He finished in 1:26 and some micro-seconds.  Damn!  
• It was an emotional experience watching runners cross the finish line.  You could see the emotion in their faces and it choked me up.  Some were so happy to be there, some were just happy to be done, some were struggling.  Didn't matter, they all completed an awesome feat.  Running 21.1K is not a walk in the park.  It requires a lot of training and dedication.  

Yeah, we went to the Mandarin for hubby's celebratory
brunch!  He was hungry!  Hubby's newest bling!

• Just in case you're wondering, hubby's finishing time was a respectable 2:29:16.  He ran an under 2:30 half.  Good job!
• Hubby's hobbling around like a little old lady now.  He has sore shins and a sore knee. It's expected. I was sore for days after running my first half.  I also wore my medal at work the next day. Hey! I earned it!!!!  Hubby's medal is on my dresser up stairs. He'll never wear it again, but he should!
• I don't know why it's happening, but my weight has gone down another pound.  I weighed in this morning at 162.  I didn't get a picture because I forgot my camera, was naked, and refused to go traipsing through the house nude just to get my phone.  You'll just have to believe me.  Now, I weighed myself because I have noticed my pants fitting me differently.  My size 8's are getting quite loose and I have a couple of pairs of size 9/10 pants that I can't wear without belts anymore.  They fall down.  I am sure I could squeeze into a 6, but they would not look good.  You know, camel toe and everything. There is nothing sexy about camels. That is all. 
• I desperately need to go grocery shopping.  We have absolutely NO FOOD in the house!
• I really, really need to go to bed.  It's after midnight and I've been up since 5am.  Good night:)

My husband is going to KILL me for this, but I have to.  I got a lovely man to
take our photo.  Hubby knew his photo was being taken and he stuffed his face
with a protein bar.  Really? He looks like Quagmire from Family Guy!