I'm gonna be completely honest...I eat constantly. I believe that I eat more now that I have ever eaten in my life, it's just the kind of foods I choose to eat that are the difference. I am living proof that not all calories are created equal. Don't ask me how many I eat in a day, I have no idea. I just always eat until I am full and I have about three or four snacks a day as well. Snacks are usually fruit or carrot sticks. Sometimes popcorn. And before a run, I'll eat an energy bar if my last meal was more than three hours prior to my run.
I'm still off the processed carbs, and that's not gonna change. Eating them scares me. I haven't had any for so long, that I have this vision of eating a slice of bread, then finishing off the entire loaf in one sitting. It could happen. I've done it before. And I just know that if I let one carby thing past my lips, I'll suddenly be a full on addict again. I know, I know, I'm a little unstable and I need counseling. Agreed! Maybe it wouldn't go down that way, but this is my nightmare and I'm painting it the way I see it!
My goal was to get into a size more than to a number on the scale. That goal was met yesterday. I went to Value Village and not only scored a great red leather coat for $12.99, but I also bought a pair of real skinny jeans (size 10), and a pair of size 8 jeans that were gonna be my "goal jeans". When I got them home, both pairs fit. So I am officially wearing a single digit pant size! Yay me! Pictures to follow. I just got back from running and don't feel like trying on stuff right now.
Today was a special day. I met up with an old college friend that I haven't seen in 15 years. She has only ever known me obese. She was just floored when she saw me and couldn't believe the difference in me. She's always been beautiful and looks exactly the same as she did in college. I can't believe that she has a teen aged son and a tween daughter! She looks like a teenager herself. Anyway, it was nice to catch up and I hope we connect again soon. So much to talk about and we had so little time.
I took my car in for winter service today and my mechanic said he didn't recognize me when I walked into the shop. He only saw me a month ago. I don't think I look any different from last month. But he said it took him a minute to register who I was. Sometimes for fun, he gets me to show my before picture to other customers in the shop. He loves to tell them about how hard I've worked and loves to hear about my running. He, along with everyone else in my life, is in denial. He can't remember me being as big as I was. I'm back there tomorrow and I'll show him the comparison photos below. I can hear him now, "Unbelievable Leigh, just unbelievable". He says unbelievable a lot! I have to agree. I never believed I'd get to where I am today. But here I am beginning a new chapter in my life. Sounds exciting and adventurous! Then why am I so scared?
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| I likely weighed about 295 here. |
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| Taken tonight just before my clinic run. I look tired because I am. |