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| My Friday run had me feeling hot, hot, hot! I dressed waaaay too warm:) |
- I've had a busy week with work and life. Monday night I had my first therapy session with a new therapist. I liked her. She asked me a lot of questions and really listened to my feelings about my anxiety and stress. And she didn't give me the old "side eye". Something that bugged me about my last therapist was the double take she gave me when I told her I had self esteem issues. Felt a touch judged by that reaction. New therapist had lots of great stuff to say about Mindfullness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). My first session for that is April 8th. The only problem with this therapist is that she's very busy and does monthly sessions. That's okay though because I'm doing the MBSR as well.
- An interesting angle she talked a lot about was Neuroplasticity. Apparently my brain needs to be re-wired. She compared it to someone who loses a limb and has Phantom Limb Syndrome. The Mirror Box therapy used for that takes three weeks of consistent use before the patient can get permanent relief from the pain of the phantom limb. She said there was definite merit in the picture therapy that the previous therapist suggested. Taking photos and seeing the good in myself needs to be done consistently before my brain will switch. This could be tricky. I'm tired of talking about my pictures already. And I don't do it consistently.
- I was with a client early on in the week and we passed a young man who was smoking a Calabash pipe, wearing an Elmer Fudd hunting cap and zebra stripped clogs. He also had on a mohair jacket. My client looked at me and said, "Either he's mentally unstable or really confident". Now the young man did stand out, but he carried himself with an "I don't give a f**k attitude". So he was definitely confident. And eccentricity is never boring.
- Tuesday was not a great day for me. I got anxious while I was with a client. The weird thing about that was that he was one of my less stressful clients. I still had a panic attack in the washroom of the Pickle Barrel. And the worst thing? I was getting cocky (because I thought I was in control) and didn't bring the Adivan with me. So I dealt with it, felt nauseous all the way home, then popped one as soon as I walked in the door. They work like a charm, but I felt weak for having to take one. It was my first time.
- On Wednesday I got an email from the Around the Bay organizers. Our shirts were going to be available for the expo this weekend! My hubby went and picked up my kit for me yesterday. And lo and behold, the shirts are PURPLE! Love it! My favourite colour! Can't wait to don it for my recovery run on Tuesday...or maybe Wednesday. Lets see how long I can last before I have to run again after the race.
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| This shit is real now!!!!!! |
- Thursday I went to see my mechanics for an oil change. We go way back. They've known me for about 14 years. Now who knew that one of them also dealt with a lot of stress and anxiety a few years back. Swear to God, I had one of my absolute best therapy session with my mechanic. He has read so much on Neuroplasticity it's not even funny. He gave me tons of good pointers on how he dealt with his anxiety. His anxiety issues were different than mine, but he totally got me. And he's always so full of nice compliments about me. So when I started with, "you're not gonna understand what I'm going to say to you..." he nodded and said, "I've said that to people for years about me. I get it!"
- Friday was spent in my car. I drove from Hamilton to Kitchener to Scarborough to Hamilton. It was wet and drizzly, but 10C. I wore a blazer for the day! And I was stuck in a lot of traffic. Especially across the top of the 401 in Toronto. Hate the 401, just say'in. So I did something I haven't done in a long time. Like since before Finn died. I did Rock'in Soul Friday. For those of you who are new here, Rock'in Soul is me sitting in traffic, blaring the tunes, singing along, and making eye contact with as many people as I can. It was fun. There was a lull in the rain and many people had their windows down. I got a couple of people singing along with me. A dude who sang part of "Baby I Love Your Way" (Peter Frampton), and a woman who sang "Don't Look Back in Anger" (Oasis). Loved singing with the woman. We were beside each other because she was the passenger and she switched her radio station to mine so it was in stereo. Fun times. I still got some dirty looks, but it made me feel good!
- So tomorrow is the big day. I'm running the Around the Bay 30K. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. This is my first race back post broken ankle (broke my fibula back in September), and this will be the furthest distance I have EVER run. What makes me most anxious are my issues with Morton's Neuroma. My toes cramp pretty badly during long runs. So I know that the last 10K or so (when I'm running all the hills) will be painful. I'll likely have to walk the cramps out a few times. But I'll finish. I've already run 25K. What's another 5?
- This week was scale back week and I only ran 3 times as opposed to 5. Unsettling to say the least. I'll be raring to go tomorrow. My issue is that during a race, I tend to start out too fast. I'm going to hang back for about 5K, then pick up my pace. It usually takes me 5K to get good and warmed up during a long run. That's when I'm totally in control of my breathing. That is my strategy. We'll have to see if I stick to it!
- Here's Julien's latest YouTube video. (What does) The Fox (Say). I've never seen the video before, or listened to the song too much. I've heard Julien singing along when he's wearing headphones. Julien sings, I finger dance and hubby and I argue about a morse horse. And yes, I stand corrected. They do communicate in mo-o-o-o-orse...