So there have been quite a few things for me to reflect on this past week. Halloween was a lot of fun for Julien, and even though he got tons of candy, he did what he does every year and handed it out to the kids who came to our door after we ran out. One way that I really lucked out is that my kid does not like sweets. Give him a bag of chips though and he's enthralled. This is probably the first Halloween that I can remember where I did not eat one sweet, or indulge in anything save, my sugar-free chocolate snacks (which I am allowed). I know you're probably thinking sugar-free chocolate is gross, but don't knock it till you try it. I can't really tell the difference. Russell Stover and Hershey both make excellent sugar-free chocolate.
The 2nd of November was also my 9th wedding anniversary. I can't believe my husband and I have been married 9 years already. When we got married, my mom was pretty sick and close to the end of her life. She died less than a year later. I thought it was great that we decided to get married on All Souls Day. We even needed special permission from the Vatican to marry that day. It was cheaper than many other Saturdays because of it being All Souls Day, and most Catholics do not want to marry on that day. And in retrospect I like my anniversary being on that date because not only do I reflect on my marriage, but I also reflect on my mother's life.
Something that excited me a lot was that I needed to buy smaller clothes. I considered just buying new, but really thought it might hurt me financially in the long run because I don't plan on wearing the next size down for very long. So I went off to Value Village and bought 4 pairs of pants. I have never shopped there before and was actually pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. I spent $27 with tax on pants that would have easily cost me over a hundred retail. I wore my first pair this past weekend and they are actually comfortable on me. I haven't worn this size of clothing since probably 2001. Ten years ago. That sort of pisses me off because I could have prevented my weight from getting so high in the first place if I just had the knowledge then that I do now. Oh well, I can't beat myself up over what could have been and can only move forward from here.
My first semi-cheat happened this weekend. My hubby and I went out for our anniversary and we went to an all-you-can-eat Japanese restaurant. There were many things on the menu I could eat and I did order them, but my husband ordered too much sushi and in an attempt to not get charged for items we didn't eat, I ate a really big hand-rolled California roll. I also ate a few pieces of Sashimi (raw fish) and had the worst stomach upset when I got home. The Sashimi was allowed, but the California roll, not so much. Being sick afterwards has taught that it's really not worth it to cheat. We were home by 6:30 pm last night and it's 2:30pm as I write this and I still haven't really eaten today. My stomach is still not 100%. I will likely not eat Japanese again, and really wish we had just went to the Keg.
This coming Friday will be my 8th week on this program. Time is just motoring along and I still feel really strong and positive about my choice to change my lifestyle. My husband, though being supportive, said something to me that really made me think about how this is affecting him. He saw me in my smaller sized pants and said (though jokingly) "you're going to get all thin and leave me for another man". I'm not sure how that made me feel. First off, I had no idea he was feeling even remotely threatened by my weight-loss. Secondly, he did know the much thinner me. I weighed a lot less when we got together and I gained a lot of weight in a short time span of two years. He still married me even though I was significantly heavier then I was when we first started dating. He never made my weight a condition to love me and I would never make it a reason to leave him. We took each other in sickness and in health and my sickness has been my weight. I'm tired of sickness and am more than ready to move onto a more healthier me.
