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| Our new house. |
- The last three days seem somewhat surreal to me. I had the most awesome home inspection at my new house. I bought a really good solid house. The only thing that may need replacement in the near future is the ancient water heater. And the entire house needs to be painted from top to bottom. It's funny. When we went through it the first time, I never realized how much painting needed to be done. But EVERYTHING needs to be painted. Lucky for my husband that we will have the funds to hire painters. He absolutely hates painting.
- So as of 8pm last night, I own 2 houses. We signed the final purchase agreement for the new house. Anxiety is at an all time high right now. And I have been using the Mindfulness CD's my MBSR therapist gave me. They have been helping. I just need to sell my house which is going on the market this Thursday. Once that happens and it hopefully gets sold after the open house next weekend, I can start to relax again. My lender did an appraisal of the new house and it turns out that even though I paid $25,000 over asking, I still paid $500 less than it was valued at. My agent is excellent at pricing! So we did get an awesome deal!
- I haven't talked about my confidence for a while. While I'm gaining confidence in the way I feel about myself, I am losing confidence as a runner. More times than not I like what I see in the mirror. Maybe it's the change of seasons. Maybe it's the spring clothing I've been wearing. Either way, I feel my confidence boosting. I still have things about my body that I don't like, but I don't think that's uncommon for anyone. We all have things we'd like to change about ourselves. And I'm no exception. And although I can't see me loving my imperfections, I can accept them for what they are. It's important that I have confidence. I work with young women who need to be told and shown that they are beautiful inside and out. I can't share that message with them if I'm not feeling it about myself.
- My running is still important to me. Maybe too important. I have no race I'm currently training for. And although I initially thought that having a training break would be good for me, I'm feeling lost. And I'm struggling with my runs. Just before I ran the Bay, I was having some of my best runs. Even with the sub-zero temperatures and the snow and ice to contend with. But now I get anxious before runs. I need to just not think about pace and run. I don't know why I put so much importance on pace when I'm supposed to just be running for the love of it.
- I do have goals, but they require money (ie: joining the gym). And I am lacking in that department until my house sale goes through. Selling your house brings with it added expenses. I have to be more patient and wait. What's another couple months? I did see that there is a personal trainer at the gym I want to join that is a runner and helps runners work on performance and speed. I think he will be my man. That's exactly what I want to improve. Running performance and speed. And getting leaner won't hurt either.
- I didn't feel great about my eating choices this week. I have eaten way too many bunless burgers. It's not bad if I make them at home, but I know they're not exactly Paleo if I eat out. And I don't sweat it if it's once in a while. But I had them 3x this week with clients. And I had chicken wings at Wacky Wings in Brantford. Amazing place that my son would love. It's attached to Playdium. It's a very clean eating weekend for me. Felt like I ate junk all week.
- I haven't had much time to do much else except work and get my house ready for sale.The photographer is coming at 11:30 on Monday morning. Everything has to be done by tomorrow night and I have a list as long as my arm to complete. And deadlines for work that need to be met. Feel like I'm being pulled in both directions. I feel out of the loop with everything right now. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest. It's a bit overwhelming to be honest. I'm reading as many blogs as I can. I'm looking forward to settling down so that I can get back into my normal social media routine. I haven't been there for some time now but I think I have made some substantial healing progress in the past couple of months. I know this for certain because if I was dealing with the stress I have now two months ago, It would have incapacitated me. And I'm learning techniques to deal with stress. I've only had to take one Adivan. Just having them makes me feel much more confident. I know I have something if I need it and that makes a world of difference for someone dealing with panic attacks. I still get anxious and if I didn't know coping techiniques, I definitely would be relying more on Adivan. But I am working through them with the MBSR therapy.
- I'm off for my run. It's grey, wet and dismal looking but I can run, so I will. I should never take for granted that I am healthy right now. That is reason enough to run when I don't feel like it. I've run injured and lost the ability to run all together when I broke my ankle. I am blessed right now. That should be all I need. Have a great weekend!
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| Loving my hair right now. But it really needs a cut!!!! |