The post about feeling like an awesome runner again

Finally!  A good run!
At the half way point of my 10K this morning.

Full disclosure time.  During the past week, I have been struggling with my runs.  And by struggling, I mean that my pace had gone down significantly.  I could blame it a lot of different things, but if you know me at all, you know I hate excuses.  I was running the same pace last week that I was running last September.  Around 7:20 per kilometer.  For a runner, going backwards is a bit devastating.  The main thought going through my head?  How in the hell am I ever going to run a full marathon when I'm struggling with 6-9K runs?  For whatever reason, I sucked last week.  I have had bad runs before, but never a week of bad runs.

With my confidence diminishing, I headed out for a 9K run yesterday morning and I nailed it. Not only did I run a good pace (6:30 per kilometer), but I completely crushed every hill I came upon (4 in total).  I ran a 10K this morning and had another good run.  I ran up the escarpment this morning and can definitely feel it in my quads right now.  I'm really missing my massage therapist.  He's walking the Camino pilgrimage in Spain right now.  I need him and he's too far away to help me:( Never thought I'd actually want something stripped.  You definitely miss what you don't have...

I have officially started marathon training.  My toes cramped this morning, so that issue has not been worked out.  The lump in my orthotics needs to be bigger.  It's better than it was, but definitely not right yet.  I see the chiropodist on Thursday.  I am so fed up with my feet it's not even funny.  I just want to run pain free.  The pain won't keep me from running.  I'll just bare it.  If I was told tomorrow that I will never be a marathon runner, then I would just run half marathons or 10K's, but I wouldn't stop running.  I can't.  It's become a part of me.

I remember blogging a while back about how if I ran 50K per week, I'd be able to afford 8500 calories per week on what ever I wanted to eat.  I run 40 - 50 K always.  Once my marathon training gets into full swing, I'll be running 65K per week.  I am a fool if I think I can ever eat whatever I want.  All I follow right now is Paleo (no refined sugar, processed carbs, legumes, sweeteners).  Following Paleo the way I was means I was maintaining despite the mileage I was running.  Right now I've cut out all nuts and only have fruit a couple of times per week because I'm back into weight-loss mode.  I'm giving myself 4 months to drop about 15 pounds to improve my running performance.  That would bring me to about 150 pounds on a 5'7" frame.  Trust me I have fat to lose on my upper thighs and hips.

I have been enabled my entire morbidly obese life.  By those around me, but worst of all by myself. Something I hate worse than excuses is blame.  I'd never blame my loved ones and friends for enabling me because bottom line, I'm an adult in charge of my own destiny.  I made myself obese, I was responsible for my obesity.  If I'm going to lay blame on anyone, it would be myself.  If I ever start blogging about how I fell off the wagon and started eating shit, please give me the slap in the face that I need.  I don't need coddling.  I need a swift kick back to reality.  I won't coddle, and I don't need coddling.  I need truth and honesty. Make sure you're a true friend. Someone struggling needs your honesty not your complacency.  I'd ask for nothing less.

Had to include this shot of my new shoes from Old Navy.
$7.50 by the time you worked out all the discounts.
Not too shabby!