The post about being unrecognizable, a happy day at physio and Rock'in Soul Wednesday

A cold run this morning!

• I have been in the office for TWO days in a row! You all know how much I hate being in the office. And I had back to back to back meetings Tuesday, and back to back meetings today. I enjoy the people I work with, I just don't like being behind a desk all day...or in a boardroom. Tomorrow I'm in the community so that makes me happy.
• I saw two people on Tuesday who should have recognized me but didn't. The first time was during a conference in a boardroom. I have sat in many conferences over the years with this woman.  She came in late, nodded at me and sat down. I could tell from the way she looked at me, she didn't know who I was. Once I was called on by name to speak, her head bolted up quickly and she stared at me for a good long while.  Later she came up behind me and told me I looked fabulous. Always nice to hear. 
• The second time I was getting myself some lunch and I was walking along the street.  I saw a male colleague walking towards me and he was smiling real big at me, so I smiled back at him. I have known him since I was a student back in 1994. I assumed he knew who I was because he was smiling at me and had full on eye contact with me the whole time. As he got closer to me, I greeted him and he looked completely shocked that I was talking to him. I just kept walking because I realized he was actually checking me out.  When I got back to the office, I told my friend who is also friends with him and she called him up. When he answered the phone she just said my name and he started laughing. He admitted he didn't recognize me and said that I looked great.
• Shit like this always gives me a boost of confidence. It's odd though too. I walk around work and see people in the halls and elevators who know me, but don't.  I forget that I look so different to others. Or people that have only met me a couple of times may say that they confused me with someone else. I know that there is no confusion. They just associate my name with my former self.

Graham is looking more and more like a 70's
porn star each week that I see him...

• Today was a happy day at physio.  Graham did a bunch of strength tests on my ankle and he said that it is much stronger. He gave me the go ahead to run 5K on Friday morning.  So very excited. Only running 3K was getting very frustrating. I felt strong and good to go longer, but had to stop because I promised. I'm running 5K Friday and Sunday, then begin training for the Around the Bay 30K the week of the 25th. I'm just relieved that things are getting back to normal again.
• Guess who I saw at 5:45am this morning? That's right, the little old lady and her dog (AKA the reason I broke my ankle). I was running down the middle of the road, so we didn't cross paths.  But it's dark and cold at 5:45am. Isn't she afraid of getting rolled? Trust me, there are unsavory characters out early in the morning in my neighborhood.  I know because I run by them!
• I have a long commute to work. I get stuck in three different areas of traffic. Burlington, Mississauga and Toronto. To cut the boredom, I either a) listen to the Dean Blundell show on The Edge, or b) do a Rock'in Soul (insert day of week here). So today was Rock'in Soul Wednesday. During Rock'in Soul, I crank some rock'in tunes and sing and bop along like no one is watching me. I do this in bumper to bumper traffic, and I drive in the center lane. People do watch me. And I get a lot of smiles, thumbs up, nods. Sometimes people will motion for me to put my window down so they can hear what I'm listening to. I make a lot of eye contact and sometimes people will look away with a shy smile or pretend that they don't see me at all.  Today I got my very first finger. That's right, someone flipped me the bird. I have been doing this since early summer (minus vacation and my broken ankle of course).  This is the first finger I got. Oh well! Not everyone is a morning person. And I'll just keep boppin along!
• It's early (for me), but I am feeling beat. Regardless of the fact that I don't have to run tomorrow, I will still be up at 5 am. So I leave you with the next installment of the Anniversary Series entitled I Love Buffaloes.  Who knew that there we so many Chinese restaurants in Fort Erie? Proceed to watch with caution. You will never get the 3:42 back that it takes to watch this video. Consider yourself warned!

The post about Santa Claus coming to town, getting spanked by Mildred and garlic mashed turnip

Hamilton Santa Claus Parade. Isn't my boy adorable?

• Thank you for all your supportive comments, messages, virtual hugs. You guys are awesome. I'm not sure why it happens. Just some days, I get overwhelmed with sadness and I can't attribute it to any particular thing. The crisis has passed and my weekend was a time for reflection and looking at all the blessings I have.
• Saturday, we went to the Hamilton Santa Claus Parade. It was a pretty mild day. Definitely a better parade day than it was last year.  Last year it was freezing cold and I just remember my feet freezing. Julien enjoyed himself, which was the whole point. Hamilton's parade is okay.  There's not a lot of bells and whistles.  But there was a pretty big turn out, and it was freaking long!  Julien wrote his letter to Santa and was able to give it one of his helpers along the parade route.  He was very excited.
• My absolute favorite part of any parade? The pipe band. I LOVE the bagpipes.  My father is from Antigonish, Nova Scotia. Back in the day, he was a piper. And a really talented one at that.  I have listened to the pipes my entire life.  The one major flaw in the Santa Claus Parade? Only one pipe band:(

• Sunday was a fun day. We went to my girlfriend Elin's house for the CFL football game. The Hamilton Tiger-Cats were playing the Toronto Argonauts.  Hamilton were the victors and next Sunday they play the Saskatchewan Roughriders for the Grey Cup. I have to confess that I don't really care about football.  It is fun watching Elin get all worked up over the game though.  She's fan enough for the both of us!
• Today it was back to the old grindstone. I felt like I was all over the place. I drove from Hamilton to East York, to downtown, to Scarborough, to Easy York, to Brampton then back to Hamilton.  And I needed to stop twice to use a bathroom somewhere.  The first stop was Canadian Tire.  I really need to remember to use the bathroom before I get into my car!
• Something very unusual happened today. While shopping with a client and waiting in line at Walmart, I felt a slap on my ass. So I turn around, prepared to be all enraged, and it's a little old lady with her walker standing directly behind me. She says, "Oh deary, you have a nice bum". WTF? Well I can't freak out.  She was a tiny little thing and reminded me a bit of my Aunt Mary. So I said "thank you" while my client looked like he was going to explode.  She also told me I had pretty hair and that her hair used to go down to her bum when she was a girl. Ah Mildred! Thanks for making me a feel a bit icky, and a bit like hot shit!

Trying on a slouchy beanie at Chapters on Friday. Not only did I feel melancholy,
but I looked melancholy...
In the washroom at Canadian Tire today. Notice my hair is Ombre!

• Yesterday made me very happy. I got LOTS of meat on sale. Chicken breast, ground beef, ribs. All good stuff.  And I made garlic mashed turnip. A great alternative to mashed potatoes.  I may use the turnip the next time I make Shepard's Pie.
• The mashed turnip was super easy to make. I just boiled the turnip with whole cloves of garlic (6), drained everything when it was super soft. Added some sea salt, pepper and a splash of chicken stock.  I used beaters to whip everything together. Yummy. Turnip is not my favorite, but I'd definitely make this again.
• I ran this morning at about 5:45.  It was blustery!  A very windy run. My pace was the slowest it's been yet. But seriously, I felt like I wasn't going anywhere fast.  My ankle has been achy all day. Not pained, but achy. I think it's from the damp. My cheek that was fractured gets painful on wet and rainy days. Weird!  I only ran 3K and the hardest thing about that is that just when I'm warmed up and feeling good, I have to stop.  I'm looking forward to Sunday's run. Graham is letting me run 5K. Yay!

Mashed turnip and post-run coffee!

• I'm tired of reading that my lifestyle (Paleo) is a fad diet. That's all I have to say about that. 
• I'm reading some new literature right now. The jury's still out on whether I like it. If you're reading this Heather, you can check out the novellas by Jess Dee.  They're pretty filthy, so read in private.
• That's pretty much all I've got for you today. It was a pretty uneventful and low key weekend. Tomorrow is a busy day. I have back to back to back to back meetings. Yup, that's four in a row.
• I leave you with the 7th installment in the Anniversary Series entitled Where's the Start Line. In this episode hubby and I make our first on camera appearances.  And we fail to locate the start line of hubby's half marathon because we are losers. Riveting, I know!

The post that has absolutely nothing to do with running or a healthy lifestyle

• I don't usually do two posts in a row, but I'm having a shitty day.  You know, the kind where you feel like crying for no reason and where you feel you have no one to talk to that will understand? That's me right now.
• This morning I was driving through Six Nations Reserve to get to Brantford (where I had a work meeting).  Whenever I drive to Brantford, I swing onto Six Nations to get cheap gas.  It's totally worth it.  Gas in Hamilton was 125.6/liter today.  I paid .96/liter on Six Nations.  I spent time afterwards just driving around. I felt peaceful for the first time in a long time. Six Nations is a Mohawk reserve. I'm Ojibwa, from Serpent River in Cutler Ontario. I've been to my reserve once. To meet my birth mother in April 2010. My visit to Cutler was a stressful one because of the circumstances. 
• I am a lost soul. I never fit into the "white" world where I was raised, and I always felt left out of the Native world where I should have belonged.  My adoptive parents loved me.  My mother loved me, my father still does.  It made no difference to them what I was.  My paternal grandmother was not happy that my parents adopted Native children (my sister and I).  And although we were not ostracized from our family, it was blatantly obvious that we were different from the fair haired, light skinned members of our adopted clan. Since my mother's death, I have had ZERO contact with her side of the family. I have reached out a few times, only to be ignored. Not one of my mother's relatives came to Julien's baptism. They would have been there if my mother was still alive. She would have accepted nothing less.
• I love people. People of any race, nationality, creed or sexual orientation. You name it, I love them! I work with disadvantaged youth who come from very diverse cultural backgrounds, and have numerous traits that society may deem unfavorable. I treat them all the same and work as equally hard for one as I do for the other. I advocate for them with 100% conviction.  That's just how I roll.  I abhor discrimination and oppression and have zero tolerance for people who make derogatory comments about others.  It makes me shut down.
• If I hear one more person complain about how immigrants are taking Christmas away from Canada, I am going to scream.  It's immigrants who brought Christmas to Canada in the first place.  I can assure you that before European settlement, Christmas was not celebrated on this continent.  Christianity was brought to the First Nations people in a very abusive and oppressive manner.  If you have never heard of residential schools, I suggest you hit the link.  I am not writing this to offend and I apologize if someone reading this is offended.  I have nothing against any religion.  I am simply stating that you have the right to be Christian in Canada, as well as the right to be Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish...whatever religion or non-religion you believe in.  Canada is not a Christian country in my opinion.  First Nations people practice sacred ceremonies/beliefs that do not fall under the umbrella of religion.  That being said, I was raised a Catholic and am raising my son a Catholic.  
• My most hated racist name? Paki.  I mean, any racist name causes me to cringe, but I absolutely hate hearing someone say Paki. When I was a child I was called a Paki all the time.  I am not from Pakistan. I would never refer to a person from Pakistan as a Paki.  I am...what am I? Am I Native, Aboriginal, Native Canadian, Indian, First Nations, Saulteaux, Chippewa, Bungi, Anishinabe, Ojibwe or simply Ojibwa? I'm not sure what the politically correct name is for me. My government says I am an Indian.  It says so on my Indian status card. But sadly, I don't even know what to refer to myself as.
• Although I felt peaceful while on Six Nations, I started to feel anxious as I drove back to Hamilton. I always think of my birth mother anytime I am near anything that has to do with the Native culture. There were so many things left unsaid between us, and I'll never get to tell her things I wanted to say, or ask her the questions I wanted answered. I just need to let that go.
• Today I needed my mother. I needed to talk to her.  No one loves you as much as your mother does. I love someone beyond reason, but no one loves me like that anymore. I was very close to my mother. She was not perfect. Far from it. But we had a special bond. It was me she asked for on her death bed and I was alone with her when she took her last breath. Second to Julien's birth, it was the most important moment in my life. And one that I can never get out of my memory. I wish I could because hers was not a peaceful death.  I lied to my father, my brothers and my sister and told them that she died in her sleep. She was semi-conscious when she died and struggled horribly for her last breath. I wanted to ease their pain and have held that secret inside me for over 10 years.
• I'm not sure why I wrote this post. I may very well hit publish, then take it down.  All I know is that I needed to write this for me because my heart is heavy and I'm not sure why I feel this way today.