Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A New Year = a new weigh of thinking!

I'm pretty busy with after Christmas clean-up, so I'm posting a blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago, but obviously never posted.  So here it is in it's entirety.  Everything written here happened about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  And I have since gotten rid of another garbage bag full of clothes:)  My next post will focus on how Christmas went for me.  Hope everyone's at peace with their choices!  Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life!  So cheesy:)

I had a revelation today.  I absolutely must put several pairs of my pants to rest.  It's no longer as easy as just getting a belt anymore.  They are way too big everywhere.  And it's hard to appear dignified and professional when your pants are falling down.  So on my way home from work, I stopped into a Value Village (the one in Burlington in hopes there would be better clothes because Burlington has a lot of upper-middle class people there) hoping to find some smaller clothes to wear.  I did end up buying 3 pairs of pants and a sweater.  My tops are also getting too big on me, and when things are too big, you look bigger than you actually are.

The clothes were okay, but there were lots of nice shoes and boots in the Burlington Value Village. Some of them brand new that were probably only worn a few times.  But I have blasted size 10 feet and they were all size 7.  My feet have never been wide width or chubby, just long.  I suppose whining about my foot size is just silly since I still have more than enough to worry about with my body size.  But alas, I suppose there is nothing to do except continue to curse my big boat feet. It's not like I can get them surgically removed and replaced with a lovely pair of size 7s.

I felt the need to pig out when I got home.  I still had leftovers from my weekend Christmas dinner, so I polished them off and set to making a ground beef and spinach dish.  I had every intention of eating the entire ground beef/spinach concoction but after a  half dozen bites, I had to leave it because I was too full.  The metabolic diet I'm on allows me to eat unlimited protein and leafy greens until I am full.  I'm never hungry, but I am also unable to eat the amounts I used to eat.  I used to eat a lot of carbohydrate and protein is supposed to fill you up more.  I guess that is true because I eat a lot of protein, and very little carb.  The only carbs I am presently eating are the ones that I get from my vegetables.

They say that the more carb and sugar you eat, the more you crave.  This scares me because right now I am on a very controlled eating regime and I know that I won't be eating this strictly forever.  Will I have continued will power to abstain from over-indulging in the foods that I loved?  I guess only time will tell.  I'm determined that this time I am going to change my life.  I've spent too much time obsessing over food and thinking about what my next meal was going to be.  It's a bit of a relief to not think about food 24/7.  Honestly, it was a preoccupation I can certainly do without.

I never make New Years resolutions, but this year I think I'm going to be resolve to be conscious of one thing and one thing only.  Taking each day one day at a time and not worrying about what next week or next month might bring me.  We worry too much about making goals for ourselves.  Other than work related goals, I have never been able to keep personal goals.  That is mainly because I have sabotaged myself year after year because I'm the queen of making unrealistic goals for myself.  That being said, I'm making a resolution right now...to not make a weight-loss goal for myself, but to continue to eat the way I am and focus on my health.  There.  I just took the pressure off and now I think, no I know, I can keep that resolution:)