Thursday, November 5, 2015

The post about a really long post...

Meanwhile, Sunday on Instagram...

It's coffee time and I mustache you a question. Who is going to observe Movember? I'm not drunk I promise. Found this on my dining room table this morning and couldn't resist. Not sure if I can pull the stash off but Movember is a good cause.

I slept long and deep last night. That's what 3 glasses of wine will do to you. I feel chipper and energized and ready for the gym later this morning. Today I'm going to see if my girlfriend Elin is available for a visit. I've not seen her in a while. And I'm going to do a mini grocery shop and finish the laundry. Yesterday I washed every piece of bedding in the house. Including duvets. I know, such a fun and exciting life I lead. Can't wait for today's chores...

Good workout this morning. Made me tired. After every session I have with Tony, he asks how I feel. The correct answer is fatigued. Not sore, but exhausted is good. I rocked the under boob sweat like a boss. Did all the things I hated most including push-ups and ring pulls. And worked my glutes. My bum feels broken right now. I worked hard enough to earn me another coffee. And I ate as soon as I got home. Not sure why, but a perfect avocado makes me happy. It was delicious.

I overheard a conversation while I was doing HIIT. A couple were discussing their weight. They weighed themselves several times a day and the woman was stressing over a 2 pound gain over the summer (Which I'm not judging. She could be a fitness competitor or something. She was ripped). My weighing game is weak. The last time I weighed myself was just before the orientation for the Fight to End Cancer over a month ago so I could give my accurate weight for opponent match up.

I gave up weighing myself a long time ago. I only do it if my pants get snug so I know how long I have to lay off the fruit, nuts and wine. When I was losing weight it became an unhealthy obsession for me. I've been on maintenance for almost 3 years and I've probably weighed myself a dozen times give or take. It's funny how well I know my body now. I can feel when things are off right away. For me, the best thing I ever did was ditch my scale. But that's gonna change soon.

Tony thinks I should watch my weight and measurements to see how my body is going to change with strength/boxing training. He says things will change quickly once I begin boxing. So that will be a goal in the New Year. To step out of my comfort zone and start weighing and measuring myself. I'm not gonna lie. I am excited to see what will happen over the next year...

The last word today is with Smitty. Haven't shown my scar in a while. There you have it. It's not looking too bad. It's slightly raised and hard, but it's getting easier for me to touch. I spent the afternoon at my girlfriend Elin's house. We watched the Ti-Cats vs Redblacks. Sadly Hamilton lost to Ottawa, but it was still a fun time.

I got into a conversation with Elin's hubby about when I knew that my weight was an issue. I told him that I've known it was an issue since I was a child and I began hoarding and binging on food. I remember sneaking food when I was around 9 or 10. That's probably when my eating got out of control. I hid food and ate in secret. As an adult who works in the social services field with disturbed youth, I understand the reasons behind that behavior now. And when I did it, I knew it was wrong. But it served a purpose in my life at that time. I used food for comfort and that is probably the hardest behavior I've had to let go of.

Changing the way I thought of food is def one the biggest obstacles I've had to overcome. Food is not a replacement for love. Nor is it my entertainment. I can easily fall back into old behaviors and binge. And I do sometimes. I can mindlessly eat nuts and cheese, because I'm definitely not perfect. But I work on trying to better myself from day to day. That's all I can do.

I think I have most of this figured out because even though I can overindulge some days, I've got a fairly good handle on maintenance. Things have pretty much stayed the same for 3 years. The biggest difference is that now when I've indulged too many times on nuts, cheese and wine, I pull it back and eat the way I did when I lost weight. A couple weeks of lean protein and veggies grown above ground gets me right back on track. It's easy for me to do because nothing I give up now is as hard as going through processed carb and refined sugar withdrawal again. I'm always asked why I still don't eat them after losing all the weight. Simple answer is I can't limit myself with processed carbs and refined sugar. That's what I used to binge on. I can have none, but I can't have one...

Meanwhile, Monday on Instagram...

It's coffee time and I'm feeling like a motivational Monday post is in the cards for today. I'm a pretty solid girl. I'm not small by any standards. Since beginning the gym in June, my clothing size has gone up to a solid 10. There's still some things I can wear in an 8, but they must include lycra. And although I've gotten bigger in my legs and bum, I've gotten smaller in my waist. This has made it exceptionally fun to purchase pants:-( Tony has told me that my shoulders are going to get broader and I'm going to get more of an hour glass shape.

I mentioned yesterday that I don't weigh myself. Part of that reason is because before I decided to go on maintenance, I was trying to get down to a healthy BMI. It happened for a hot minute. My healthy BMI weight is below 159 pounds. I'm usually anywhere between 165-175 pounds depending on the time of month and how much nuts, fruit and wine I've consumed. But I rarely get below 165.

So I stopped stressing over the number on the scale and just decided to go by intuition. I definitely need to tone up areas, but I do not think I'm overweight. My body has been examined closely by a plastic surgeon, 2 personal trainers and my physio over the past 5 months and each one says the same thing. That I've nothing left to lose, and I need to build muscle. I've not had a tummy tuck, but I have had an upper arm lift and upper outer thigh liposuction. I'm hoping that my body will get nice and hard with all the training I'm going to be taking on in the new year.

Do I need a tummy tuck? I could get one if I want a completely flat stomach and tight skin, but I'd not get one right now. I'd need to see what a year of hard work does for me first. Core and upper body will be my focus over the next year. That's what I need strongest for boxing. Regardless, when I'm feeling critical of myself, I like to look at my Instagram and remind myself that I used to weigh over 300 pounds. Because although I'm happy to share my photos with you, I really take all of these pictures for me...

Meanwhile, Tuesday on Instagram...

The first rule of Fight Club is:

You do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is:

You do not talk about Fight Club...

Meh. I'll talk about Fight Club! Was up before dawn to get to the gym where I got to hang with all the boys. This morning I realized that I am the only female among the early morning muscle men. Tuesday is a busy day. There's about 20 of them hanging in the gym. Thursdays are much more sparse. Tony and I even had to wait to do RDL'S (Romanian dead lifts).

Those boys lift way more than me. But they made a big deal over how great my form is and how far I've come. They're just humoring me. My form sucks! Ask Tony. Even he said my Trap Bar lifts sucked today. It's true. I struggled. I did 3 sets at 145 pounds and 1 set at 155 pounds. But let me tell you. The struggle was REAL!

And it's funny how much I just don't care about appearances at the gym. Not only am I sweating profusely and breathing heavy, but I'm doing those very loud grunts when I lift. And I swear. A lot. I'm so dainty and lady like. Tony always laughs at my unladylike mannerisms but points out that my nails are always on point...

On the left I weigh about 300 pounds. On the right, let's say 170. I don't really know to be honest. I don't weigh myself. I'll weigh myself and do measurements in January. That's when Kingsway (boxing training) is gonna start keeping track. It's transformation Tuesday and see? I really do go to the gym. Someone left me an anonymous comment on my blog that said I never post gym pics of me working out and questioned if I actually did go.

Tsk, tsk. There is a time and place for everything. I leave my phone in the car when I'm at the gym. I go there to work. Not to selfie. I know! Did I really say that? Tis true. The only reason I had my phone today was to memo a workout Tony wants me to do on the weekend. Figured I'd take my pic for transformation Tuesday too since there's no shortage of mirrors.

No one has their phones out at the gym. The location I go to is the satellite location for the bigger gym. Tony told me that all the posers go to the big gym and the serious lifters come to the satellite gym. The gym I go to on the weekend has tons of posers that selfie on the equipment. I'll go to great lengths for a good picture just like the next selfie whore. But I won't do that...

Had a fun evening in Brantford with my sister and Amy. We celebrated Amy's birthday with wine and grapes and the puppy, Lilith. She's not really a puppy anymore, but she's still adorable. Tons of laughs and silliness was had. Before I went to Brantford, I got my nails manicured. This is the longest I've kept them in a while. How do I lift with these talons? No idea, but I do.

I noticed lots of Christmas lights out already. I know people get excited about the Christmas season, but I think it's disrespectful to decorate for Christmas before November 11th. From the 1st to the 11th, the poppy should be the focus. Stores shouldn't even be playing Christmas music till then. It's only 11 days. Still not enough time to honor our veterans who served and died for this great country. My uncle Anthony included, who lost his life in the Korean War as a young solider. Although I never knew him, I've known about his sacrifice since I was young. This has always been a time of reflection for my family, namely my father...