A change is gonna come

Maintenance is a scary thing.  I'm not there yet, but I have less than half way to go before I am.  If I'm going to be successful at this weight-loss thing and not just another statistic, I need to start planning.  From this moment on!  I'm a carbohydrate and sugar addict.  I will need to limit these things from my diet forever.  I'm not saying that carbs or sugar will never pass my lips again.  I need to be realistic and I would be lying if I vowed to never eat another carbie or sugary thing.  But I know my triggers better than anyone.  I know exactly what foods could set off binges.  Those are the foods I need to avoid forever.  I believe that I'm beginning to adopt lots of positive habits that I know I must carry on for the rest of my life.

I keep a food journal.  In my opinion, this is a good habit to develop.  I write in my food journal every evening.  I record what I ate throughout the day and post the times.  I also record the exercise I've done and the amount of water I drank.  I've been doing this since October 2011 (minus 3 weeks in February).  It's definitely a habit now and something just as important to me as brushing my teeth.  This is something I will continue to do for now and evermore.

Here is a page out of a very boring eating day.
I ate the same thing twice...but I had to eat out at  two different restaurants that day.
I don't record amounts for lean protein or leafy greens because I'm allowed to eat those things until I'm full.

I have developed an exercise plan.  Right now I'm a bit addicted to running.  While I'm in the middle of my run (which I started to do 4 times a week), I vow that I am going to quit and never run again.  Then as soon as it's over and I completed it, I'm totally pumped to do the next one.  Every week as I build endurance and distance, I become more and more confident that I'll complete this "Learn to Run" clinic intact and be able to run 5k.  I'm already planning to join the 5k clinic that starts in mid-May with  my running girls!  Between running and yoga I'm exercising 5 days a week.  That is a huge change for me.  I was the biggest couch potato ever and hated all forms of exercise.  Running is something I cannot let go of.  Now that I've found a sport I'm beginning to really like, it's best that I just stick with it.

I have had to make a lifestyle change.  This is not a diet.  I am developing eating habits and gaining knowledge that I will have to use throughout my life.  If I think for even a second that I can go back to eating the way I did prior to starting my lifestyle change, then I am wasting my time.  I might as well throw in the towel now and just eat what I want.  Losing weight is hard. Eating healthy takes planning and determination.  I need to plan my weekly meals on the weekend.  I think about what I'm going to prepare for lunches and dinners and make my list and shop.  I love that I can price match at my supermarket.  I've become a bit of a flyer junkie and save about $30 a week price matching.  This is especially useful for meat, since it's my main food source and it can be so expensive.

I read hundreds of blogs.  There are many folks out there that struggle and need lots support and confidence boosters.  Although I am happy to give a boost when required, if the behaviour continues for weeks and weeks and weight gain climbs, I tend to lose interest.  There's only so much that others can do for us.  We need to be able to help ourselves first.  I have not had a gain since I began the metabolic diet that I'm on.  That does not mean that I'm "cured" or immune to this.  What it means is that I'm currently focused and have found other things to replace food with (blogging, running and yoga).

I had a precarious time in February when I thought I might start full on cheating.  In three weeks I only lost a pound.  I was getting sloppy with my eating and I wasn't journaling.  I knew then that I needed to change things up and get back on track.  I was also thankful that my running clinic started soon.  I fear falling off the wagon just like the rest of you.  Thankfully I have not experienced this yet (this time around).  If that happens, I'm counting on you all to give me the kick in the ass I'll need to get back on track.  Nothing nice either, just the truth.

I have come to recognize that food is no longer the most important thing in my life.  Sounds pathetic, but I'm pretty sure it used to be.  I thought about food from the time I woke up, until I went to sleep again.  The only thing on my mind 24/7 now is my family.  I have a beautiful boy who is way more important to me than any enjoyment that I could get out of gorging myself on pizza or a chocolate cake.  I simply don't put myself in situations where I would normally want to eat.  Primetime was my biggest binging trigger.  I used to snack constantly while watching TV.  I have drastically limited my TV watching.  I have become addicted to reading trashy romance novels instead.  Laugh and judge all you want, but it keeps me out of the fridge.

I challenge you to think about your triggers.  Think about how you can modify certain behaviours to keep on track.  I guarantee that if you find something that can replace food in your life, it makes this journey a whole lot easier...for now.  Remember, these modified behaviours and your determination to execute them are going to make your weight-loss and maintenance programs successful.  You're worth it!

Tuesday with Mildred

I've been meaning to post all week, and finally found time right now to give you an update!  I went to see Dr. Pitt on Tuesday for my weigh-in.  In an effort to get me in and out of his office and off to work in record time (since all I was doing was getting weighed and having my blood pressure taken), Dr. Pitt invited me to sit in his office while he readied room 4 for me.  He wants me to always get weighed in room 4 for consistency.

So, I hear him moving the scale to the middle of the small examination room, he pops his head out the door and calls me in.  As I'm approaching the room, he says "Don't mind Mildred, she's here for her physical and doesn't mind you coming in at all".  So Mildred is this sweet, blue haired elderly lady sitting on the examination table wearing a laced up smock.  She has a huge smile for me and the three of us squeeze into the examination room.

Mildred says, "I promise not to look" and hides her eyes behind her hands.  Dr. Pitt weighs me and announces that I lost 5 pounds.  Mildred cheers like I just hit a home run during a world series game.  I never thought someone so tiny could make such a racket!  I thank her for the congratulations, and tell her that in her excitement, her smock has started to fall off her solider.  She smiles and starts making small talk with me.  I can't be rude, so I answer her questions while the smock threatens to fall off her shoulder completely.  After answering all her questions to her satisfaction and listening to her stories about her toy poodle Mr. Bojangles,  I politely say goodbye, straighten the shoulder of her smock and ask her to give her bridge club my best.

As I walk away, I hear her say to Dr. Pitt "What a lovely young girl...and so pretty!"  What a great lady.  She is my newest favourite person.  First because she called me lovely and YOUNG!  I may be half her age, but I'm not 16.  And she said I was pretty.  I know she's in her 80's and looked like she had cataracts, but I'll take it!  Any confidence booster is appreciated!  Thanks Mildred, your a sweetheart!

The humour of this situation was not lost on me.  Dr. Pitt kills me.  This latest episode did not surprise me because he has done stuff like this in the past.  When I went to Cuba in the 90's and got bitten by sand fleas, he called me into the next examination room to show my calves to a man who thought that he had a rash.  It turned out he had bed-bugs and he wanted to compare the bites to show him the similarities.  That was a bit embarrassing since due to the scabs on my calves, I couldn't shave, so had hairy, scabby legs.

I'm officially half way there.  I've lost just over half the weight I need to.  Again, I'm really pleased with myself because I never thought I would get here without medical intervention.  Never in a million years did I think I would get here on my own.  What I have been doing since September (metabolic diet) and what I have learned about my metabolism has been a real eye opener and I truly believe I have learned the tools to keep this weight off forever.  I know that if I do gain weight in the future, it is because I'm eating too much of the wrong things.  It's not because I ate too much sodium or because I have my period, it's because I have ingested more calories than I have burned off.  Simple, common sense.

I started my journey wearing a size 22/24 and I currently wear a 14.  I have not kept any of my bigger clothes like I have in the past.  I think that by doing that, I was giving myself permission to gain back weight.  I'm counting on my size dropping again in the next couple of months as Enz and I begin our running clinic (tomorrow).  We're also joining yoga through a local recreation centre which starts at the end of the month.  I have a feeling I'm gonna be sore on Monday because Enz emailed me and asked me to do the 30 Day Shred with her on Sunday after our run.  Wait!  That's Jillian Michaels isn't it?  I've already established that she's a sadist...so I just know I'll be hurting!