Oh what a night!

Oh what a night indeed.  I trudged home at 9pm tonight.  That's right, that's when I walked through my door.  My job requires that I drive...a lot...to see clients.  They live within a 200 kilometer radius of my house.  So I was in Peterborough, which is roughly 200K from home, and I just dropped my client off and went to fill up my gas tank (why gas is 10cents cheaper per liter in Peterborough, I'll never figure out).  As I'm pulling out of the service station, my car jerks, the dashboard lights up, and I stall.  I start the car and I'm able to move just enough to pull into a parking lot.

So now I have to call my mechanics in Scarborough (125K away), to let them know that my car keeps stalling and to also let them know I'm having it towed there and to expect my car in their lot the next morning.  I call CAA, and they send Bob's Towing over to assist me.  So Jake, not Bob, shows up and he's a spry young buck who has my car on the flat bed truck in record time.  A trick he told me he has perfected since he does a lot of repo work.  I'm driving to Scarborough with Jake and he's really into Christian Rock, and sings loudly and out of key quite a bit.  That's all good, but the endless stories of his repo work get old really quickly and I'm just guessing that a lot of them were exaggerated.  Many sounded exactly like some episodes of Repo Wars that I've seen.  He was very chatty, jumpy and animated and I guessed he was either ADHD (which I hoped), or really stoned (which I couldn't tell because he wore sunglasses).

My dad was good enough to meet me at the mechanics (since he only lives about 10 mins. away), drop me off at the subway and give me 3 bucks so I could get on said subway.  I haven't been on the subway in Toronto in a couple of years.  Apparently the service has improved, but the smell, not so much.  (On an exciting side note, I only took up my space on the double seat instead of spilling over onto my neighbours space:)  Of course, the train was delayed for 5 stops because of signal problems.  I finally make it to Union station and hop on the 7:40pm Go bus to Hamilton.  I'm sitting on the bus and wondering why I have such horrible pins and needles in my feet.  I finally realize that its fine (and sharp?) water dripping on my feet, so I move my feet...but it took me 20 minutes to realize this and I don't know where the water was coming from.  I get off the Go bus at 8:36 pm and walk home from the downtown Go station, making it into my house just before 9pm.

I'm bummed.  I don't know what's wrong with my car, and neither does Jake.  Not only is he a repo man, but he used to be a mechanic.  Seriously, he's like 23.  He told me he's getting his wisdom teeth out next week for Pete's sake!  Oh, he's also a math genius...according to his high school principal.  Anywho, I just got my income tax return back (all $2200 of it), and I'm sure that what ever is wrong with my car, will be very expensive to fix.  I'm never lucky with cars.  Oh, I forgot to mention, someone dented my passenger door in the Walmart parking lot on Monday while I was grocery shopping.  Not a huge dent, but noticeable. So goodbye tax money!

On a happier note, I had my weigh-in today with Dr. Pitt.  I'm down 10 pounds in 23 days.  What the what?  I was expecting a loss, but that took me a little a back.  I can only attribute it to the running.  I'm eating A LOT, and more Phase 2 foods than usual and even drinking wine.  I think I'm going to stick mainly to Phase 2 of the diet now and see what happens over the next month.  My next weigh-in is May 17th...4 weeks away.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the loss, but that's a bit quicker than I like to lose.

Yesterday we kicked ass during our practice run.  Our clinic instructor, Carol, is a great motivator and knows just when to push us that little extra.  We did 5:1 intervals and we were doing 4 of those for the past week.  Yesterday we not only did an extra interval, we did it running up the Cootes incline.  You know the one I almost expired on Easter morning.  Not only did I run for 25 minutes, I found it almost easy.  Tomorrow we start with 6:1 and on Monday, Enz, our running gal Tanya and I are going to run 5k doing 6:1 to prepare for my (and Tanya's) very first 5K race the following Sunday.  Oh, and just for the record...about an hour after I wrote my last post, I too came down with the same virus that plagued my husband and son!

Stuffed...like a sausage

Compression wear is most unflattering...
I can't believe I go out in public like this!

I can't believe I'm posting this photo of myself.  Yes, I am dressed like that at work.  Yes, I sat through my bi-weekly team meeting wearing that get up.  Yes, my team commented about my choice of clothing. However, the comments were all supportive and since I have promised myself that I will run 4 times per week without fail, I needed to change before my meeting because I had to leave right at 4pm to make it back to Hamilton from Toronto for my running club.  Whew that was a long sentence!

My lovely student (I supervise Child and Youth Worker students from local Toronto colleges) took this photo of me and she was foolish to do so because it's not too late for me to change her grade from an "A" to something less agreeable.  Just joking N!!!!!!  I was actually VERY proud of her yesterday.  She told me that she got a referral from her family doctor to begin the metabolic diet that I'm on.  That first step is a HUGE one and I support her 100%.  Way to go N, I know you can do this!

My runs this week have been ok.  Last night was a bit trying.  My clinic instructor got us to run up and down a pretty steep (and deep) hill...twice! With barely any recovery time in between.  Again, right in the middle of the run, I swore I would never run again and cursed myself for starting in the first place.  But we completed the run and even added on an extra interval at the end for good measure.  And then we all patted each other on the back and talked about looking forward to the run coming on Friday when we up the intervals another minute.  Crazy, I know. And a bit unstable if you ask me.  But hey, it's working for me, and I'm still addicted.

I feel like I haven't stepped on a scale in like forever.  It's actually been two weeks.  And I'm not getting weighed until next Thursday (19th).  I have been tempted to step on the old scale I have in my bathroom, but I avoid the scale in between weigh-ins, cos' then I become addicted to weighing myself and can do it a number (10) of times a day.  Did you know that your weight will change (sometimes drastically) every time you step on the scale throughout the day.  It drove me crazy and that's why I stay off of the scale in between doctor's visits.  I'm expecting a loss.  The new jeans I bought about a month ago, are falling down when I walk up the stairs at work.  I guess I need to start using the belt again.

I have been a bad blog commenter of late.  I get awesome comments and support via my blog readers and Facebook friends and I appreciate each and every one.  I am just so humbled that anyone finds me inspirational.  Never in a million years did I think I would inspire anyone to lose weight...or run...or make healthy choices.  I started this blog to keep myself accountable.  It has morphed into so much more.  The support and guidance I receive is a huge part of what keeps me going.  Everyone (family, friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, bloggers) in my life has supported me completely through this journey.  That is why I need to continue to support those who support me.  I promise that I will make a concerted effort to comment once again...starting this weekend!  Till then....

Seasons change and so do I

So close....but I'm officially at 69 pounds lost.  I was hoping to get to 70 at today's weigh-in, but alas, it will have to wait until my next visit to Dr. Pitt on the 19th of April.  That's just over three weeks away.  Needless to say, it appears as though my weight-loss is slowing a bit.  I'm not doing anything differently eating wise (mostly phase 1, some phase 2 on running days), but I am running three times a week.  I remember my good friend Enz telling me that when she started running last summer, her weight didn't change, but her clothing size got smaller.  I'm not concerned about the numbers on the scale, I'm more focused on learning to run and preparing for my first 5k at the end of April.

That's right, I signed up for the Chocolate Race in Port Dalhousie on April 29th.  By that time I should be running 8 and 1's.  So that is likely how I will run the 5k.   The weekend after I'm doing the Starbucks Coffee Hazel 5k in Mississauga.  Then I think there's one in Burlington at the end of May...I'm becoming a bit of an addict here.  I run with a great group of supportive ladies and we're signing up for these races together.  That's what I love about the Running Room.  There's a lot of support and a real social aspect to it.  Makes me feel included.  In a sport no less!  Such a change from always being the fat kid never picked during sports in gym class.

So I did something this past weekend I have been doing regularly.  Purging my old clothes.  Once they no longer fit, I get rid of them.  I refuse to give myself permission to "grow" back into bigger clothes again.  In the past, I have held onto various sizes of clothing.  They may not have been in my closet, but they were in tupperwear somewhere in my house.  It's so freeing for me to give away my old clothes.  I feel like I'm shedding my skin and being reborn.  That's a bit corny, but you know what I mean.  I've pretty much purged all of my winter clothes.  Got rid of all the regular and plus-size 18's.  The only depressing thing is I'm passing them onto a client who has gained a substantial amount of weight in a short period of time.

The weather here has been unstable to say the least.  It was shorts and t-shirt weather a week ago, and this morning it was minus 1 when I left for work.  I really want to unload my winter coat.  It's a 3x and looks a bit big on me.  Okay, it looks a lot big on me, but damn it,  I was too cheap to buy a new one this winter hoping knowing that I would only be wearing it for one winter.  By next winter, I hope to be at goal or at the very least, painfully close to goal.

Last week, a co-worker asked me a very fair question about my weight-loss.  Why now?  Why now indeed. Why didn't I do this before I got married? (I did, but gained the weight back super fast.  Starvation diets do not work Dr. Bernstein.)  Why didn't I do this before I got pregnant?  Why didn't I do this after I had my son?  Well the only straight answer I can give is, because I wasn't ready.  I've always wanted to lose weight, but I wasn't ready to.  I wasn't ready to put in the hard work and determination.  My son, of course, has been motivation for me as well.  By remaining morbidly obese, I increase my risk of so many things.  You all know this so I'm not going to bore you with "the list".  Bottom line, I could die young and it's not fair to my son to have to lose me at a young age when I have total control over this.  He deserves to have a mother till he's a grown man and a grandmother for his children.  I'll settle for nothing less.

Running up that hill

I would be completely remiss if I did not mention the outpouring of support, input, advice etc. in regards to my last blog post.  I received numerous, and much appreciated, emails and comments on the subject.  My heartfelt thanks to all!  I would like to thank Angie once again for making me see the serious errors of my ways and righting me.  As well as for giving me the material for my last blog post.  My previous two blog posts have become my most popular EVER.  I also must give a holla to Allan over at Almost Gastric Bypass.  His eloquent rebuttal to my previous post is definitely worth the click (and then some).  If you haven't already been over there,  read Allan's refutation of the situation here.  Everyone's advice, input and opinions were received with gratitude and  respect.  Thanks again to one and all.

Moving on now.  Wednesday marked the end to my first week of my "learn to run" clinic through the Running Room.  For the first week we were doing sets of 2 minutes walking and 1 minute running.  We were supposed to do the same set on Wednesday but because our running group is so small, we were put with the group a week ahead.  So I had to do one minute walking and one minute running...a session early!  Initially I was a bit freaked out and anxious that I was going to be left behind, but I must say, the older group was perpetually in the back.  And, I survived doing one and ones.  Now I have a whole week to worry about whether or not I can do sets of 1 minute walking and 2 minutes running.  It really does get easier every time I go.  And I can totally see how running becomes addictive.  After each practice run, I'm so full of adrenaline and awe that I actually did it, that I can't wait to do it again.  Looking forward to tonight's clinic already!

I'm not sure where my weight is right now.  I can only say that I have been following phase 1 of Dr. Poon's religiously.  I take a bit more carbs just before I run (usually in the form of a protein bar), but other than that, I'm on track.  I tend to not weigh between official weigh-ins because then I become obsessed with the scale.  I do know that I now comfortably fit into regular 16's (pants) and that plus 14's are too big for me.  This happened over the last two weeks.  Who knew that there was such a big difference is plus sizes versus regular sizes.  That being said, I no longer have to shop in plus sized stores.  That's a NSV (non-scale victory) I'm really excited about.  I can now pay lower prices for clothes like other "regular" sized people.  The price of plus sized clothing is always more expensive.  Just another reason to keep on track!  I'm determined to never have to shop in a plus sized store again.

Due to my schedule, I don't have an appointment to see Dr. Pitt for a weigh-in until March 27th.  That's three weeks between weigh-ins.  I'm curious to see if I can truly stay off the scale until then.  Shouldn't be a problem.  I can see significant changes in my body every week.  New bones sticking out here and there, being able to fit into a pair of pants I couldn't get over my hips the previous month.  You know, the real significant stuff.  Enz has joined a yoga class with me that we start at the end of the month.  I really need to work on my flexibility and my toning.  Considering the fact that I am an admitted exercise hater, I now run three times a week and will begin a fourth day of exercise in the form of yoga in a couple of weeks.  And I still take the stairs religiously.  Not too shabby for a former couch potato.

Tuesday with Mildred

I've been meaning to post all week, and finally found time right now to give you an update!  I went to see Dr. Pitt on Tuesday for my weigh-in.  In an effort to get me in and out of his office and off to work in record time (since all I was doing was getting weighed and having my blood pressure taken), Dr. Pitt invited me to sit in his office while he readied room 4 for me.  He wants me to always get weighed in room 4 for consistency.

So, I hear him moving the scale to the middle of the small examination room, he pops his head out the door and calls me in.  As I'm approaching the room, he says "Don't mind Mildred, she's here for her physical and doesn't mind you coming in at all".  So Mildred is this sweet, blue haired elderly lady sitting on the examination table wearing a laced up smock.  She has a huge smile for me and the three of us squeeze into the examination room.

Mildred says, "I promise not to look" and hides her eyes behind her hands.  Dr. Pitt weighs me and announces that I lost 5 pounds.  Mildred cheers like I just hit a home run during a world series game.  I never thought someone so tiny could make such a racket!  I thank her for the congratulations, and tell her that in her excitement, her smock has started to fall off her solider.  She smiles and starts making small talk with me.  I can't be rude, so I answer her questions while the smock threatens to fall off her shoulder completely.  After answering all her questions to her satisfaction and listening to her stories about her toy poodle Mr. Bojangles,  I politely say goodbye, straighten the shoulder of her smock and ask her to give her bridge club my best.

As I walk away, I hear her say to Dr. Pitt "What a lovely young girl...and so pretty!"  What a great lady.  She is my newest favourite person.  First because she called me lovely and YOUNG!  I may be half her age, but I'm not 16.  And she said I was pretty.  I know she's in her 80's and looked like she had cataracts, but I'll take it!  Any confidence booster is appreciated!  Thanks Mildred, your a sweetheart!

The humour of this situation was not lost on me.  Dr. Pitt kills me.  This latest episode did not surprise me because he has done stuff like this in the past.  When I went to Cuba in the 90's and got bitten by sand fleas, he called me into the next examination room to show my calves to a man who thought that he had a rash.  It turned out he had bed-bugs and he wanted to compare the bites to show him the similarities.  That was a bit embarrassing since due to the scabs on my calves, I couldn't shave, so had hairy, scabby legs.

I'm officially half way there.  I've lost just over half the weight I need to.  Again, I'm really pleased with myself because I never thought I would get here without medical intervention.  Never in a million years did I think I would get here on my own.  What I have been doing since September (metabolic diet) and what I have learned about my metabolism has been a real eye opener and I truly believe I have learned the tools to keep this weight off forever.  I know that if I do gain weight in the future, it is because I'm eating too much of the wrong things.  It's not because I ate too much sodium or because I have my period, it's because I have ingested more calories than I have burned off.  Simple, common sense.

I started my journey wearing a size 22/24 and I currently wear a 14.  I have not kept any of my bigger clothes like I have in the past.  I think that by doing that, I was giving myself permission to gain back weight.  I'm counting on my size dropping again in the next couple of months as Enz and I begin our running clinic (tomorrow).  We're also joining yoga through a local recreation centre which starts at the end of the month.  I have a feeling I'm gonna be sore on Monday because Enz emailed me and asked me to do the 30 Day Shred with her on Sunday after our run.  Wait!  That's Jillian Michaels isn't it?  I've already established that she's a sadist...so I just know I'll be hurting!