Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Seasons change and so do I

So close....but I'm officially at 69 pounds lost.  I was hoping to get to 70 at today's weigh-in, but alas, it will have to wait until my next visit to Dr. Pitt on the 19th of April.  That's just over three weeks away.  Needless to say, it appears as though my weight-loss is slowing a bit.  I'm not doing anything differently eating wise (mostly phase 1, some phase 2 on running days), but I am running three times a week.  I remember my good friend Enz telling me that when she started running last summer, her weight didn't change, but her clothing size got smaller.  I'm not concerned about the numbers on the scale, I'm more focused on learning to run and preparing for my first 5k at the end of April.

That's right, I signed up for the Chocolate Race in Port Dalhousie on April 29th.  By that time I should be running 8 and 1's.  So that is likely how I will run the 5k.   The weekend after I'm doing the Starbucks Coffee Hazel 5k in Mississauga.  Then I think there's one in Burlington at the end of May...I'm becoming a bit of an addict here.  I run with a great group of supportive ladies and we're signing up for these races together.  That's what I love about the Running Room.  There's a lot of support and a real social aspect to it.  Makes me feel included.  In a sport no less!  Such a change from always being the fat kid never picked during sports in gym class.

So I did something this past weekend I have been doing regularly.  Purging my old clothes.  Once they no longer fit, I get rid of them.  I refuse to give myself permission to "grow" back into bigger clothes again.  In the past, I have held onto various sizes of clothing.  They may not have been in my closet, but they were in tupperwear somewhere in my house.  It's so freeing for me to give away my old clothes.  I feel like I'm shedding my skin and being reborn.  That's a bit corny, but you know what I mean.  I've pretty much purged all of my winter clothes.  Got rid of all the regular and plus-size 18's.  The only depressing thing is I'm passing them onto a client who has gained a substantial amount of weight in a short period of time.

The weather here has been unstable to say the least.  It was shorts and t-shirt weather a week ago, and this morning it was minus 1 when I left for work.  I really want to unload my winter coat.  It's a 3x and looks a bit big on me.  Okay, it looks a lot big on me, but damn it,  I was too cheap to buy a new one this winter hoping knowing that I would only be wearing it for one winter.  By next winter, I hope to be at goal or at the very least, painfully close to goal.

Last week, a co-worker asked me a very fair question about my weight-loss.  Why now?  Why now indeed. Why didn't I do this before I got married? (I did, but gained the weight back super fast.  Starvation diets do not work Dr. Bernstein.)  Why didn't I do this before I got pregnant?  Why didn't I do this after I had my son?  Well the only straight answer I can give is, because I wasn't ready.  I've always wanted to lose weight, but I wasn't ready to.  I wasn't ready to put in the hard work and determination.  My son, of course, has been motivation for me as well.  By remaining morbidly obese, I increase my risk of so many things.  You all know this so I'm not going to bore you with "the list".  Bottom line, I could die young and it's not fair to my son to have to lose me at a young age when I have total control over this.  He deserves to have a mother till he's a grown man and a grandmother for his children.  I'll settle for nothing less.