Stuffed...like a sausage

Compression wear is most unflattering...
I can't believe I go out in public like this!

I can't believe I'm posting this photo of myself.  Yes, I am dressed like that at work.  Yes, I sat through my bi-weekly team meeting wearing that get up.  Yes, my team commented about my choice of clothing. However, the comments were all supportive and since I have promised myself that I will run 4 times per week without fail, I needed to change before my meeting because I had to leave right at 4pm to make it back to Hamilton from Toronto for my running club.  Whew that was a long sentence!

My lovely student (I supervise Child and Youth Worker students from local Toronto colleges) took this photo of me and she was foolish to do so because it's not too late for me to change her grade from an "A" to something less agreeable.  Just joking N!!!!!!  I was actually VERY proud of her yesterday.  She told me that she got a referral from her family doctor to begin the metabolic diet that I'm on.  That first step is a HUGE one and I support her 100%.  Way to go N, I know you can do this!

My runs this week have been ok.  Last night was a bit trying.  My clinic instructor got us to run up and down a pretty steep (and deep) hill...twice! With barely any recovery time in between.  Again, right in the middle of the run, I swore I would never run again and cursed myself for starting in the first place.  But we completed the run and even added on an extra interval at the end for good measure.  And then we all patted each other on the back and talked about looking forward to the run coming on Friday when we up the intervals another minute.  Crazy, I know. And a bit unstable if you ask me.  But hey, it's working for me, and I'm still addicted.

I feel like I haven't stepped on a scale in like forever.  It's actually been two weeks.  And I'm not getting weighed until next Thursday (19th).  I have been tempted to step on the old scale I have in my bathroom, but I avoid the scale in between weigh-ins, cos' then I become addicted to weighing myself and can do it a number (10) of times a day.  Did you know that your weight will change (sometimes drastically) every time you step on the scale throughout the day.  It drove me crazy and that's why I stay off of the scale in between doctor's visits.  I'm expecting a loss.  The new jeans I bought about a month ago, are falling down when I walk up the stairs at work.  I guess I need to start using the belt again.

I have been a bad blog commenter of late.  I get awesome comments and support via my blog readers and Facebook friends and I appreciate each and every one.  I am just so humbled that anyone finds me inspirational.  Never in a million years did I think I would inspire anyone to lose weight...or run...or make healthy choices.  I started this blog to keep myself accountable.  It has morphed into so much more.  The support and guidance I receive is a huge part of what keeps me going.  Everyone (family, friends, co-workers, Facebook friends, bloggers) in my life has supported me completely through this journey.  That is why I need to continue to support those who support me.  I promise that I will make a concerted effort to comment once again...starting this weekend!  Till then....

Seasons change and so do I

So close....but I'm officially at 69 pounds lost.  I was hoping to get to 70 at today's weigh-in, but alas, it will have to wait until my next visit to Dr. Pitt on the 19th of April.  That's just over three weeks away.  Needless to say, it appears as though my weight-loss is slowing a bit.  I'm not doing anything differently eating wise (mostly phase 1, some phase 2 on running days), but I am running three times a week.  I remember my good friend Enz telling me that when she started running last summer, her weight didn't change, but her clothing size got smaller.  I'm not concerned about the numbers on the scale, I'm more focused on learning to run and preparing for my first 5k at the end of April.

That's right, I signed up for the Chocolate Race in Port Dalhousie on April 29th.  By that time I should be running 8 and 1's.  So that is likely how I will run the 5k.   The weekend after I'm doing the Starbucks Coffee Hazel 5k in Mississauga.  Then I think there's one in Burlington at the end of May...I'm becoming a bit of an addict here.  I run with a great group of supportive ladies and we're signing up for these races together.  That's what I love about the Running Room.  There's a lot of support and a real social aspect to it.  Makes me feel included.  In a sport no less!  Such a change from always being the fat kid never picked during sports in gym class.

So I did something this past weekend I have been doing regularly.  Purging my old clothes.  Once they no longer fit, I get rid of them.  I refuse to give myself permission to "grow" back into bigger clothes again.  In the past, I have held onto various sizes of clothing.  They may not have been in my closet, but they were in tupperwear somewhere in my house.  It's so freeing for me to give away my old clothes.  I feel like I'm shedding my skin and being reborn.  That's a bit corny, but you know what I mean.  I've pretty much purged all of my winter clothes.  Got rid of all the regular and plus-size 18's.  The only depressing thing is I'm passing them onto a client who has gained a substantial amount of weight in a short period of time.

The weather here has been unstable to say the least.  It was shorts and t-shirt weather a week ago, and this morning it was minus 1 when I left for work.  I really want to unload my winter coat.  It's a 3x and looks a bit big on me.  Okay, it looks a lot big on me, but damn it,  I was too cheap to buy a new one this winter hoping knowing that I would only be wearing it for one winter.  By next winter, I hope to be at goal or at the very least, painfully close to goal.

Last week, a co-worker asked me a very fair question about my weight-loss.  Why now?  Why now indeed. Why didn't I do this before I got married? (I did, but gained the weight back super fast.  Starvation diets do not work Dr. Bernstein.)  Why didn't I do this before I got pregnant?  Why didn't I do this after I had my son?  Well the only straight answer I can give is, because I wasn't ready.  I've always wanted to lose weight, but I wasn't ready to.  I wasn't ready to put in the hard work and determination.  My son, of course, has been motivation for me as well.  By remaining morbidly obese, I increase my risk of so many things.  You all know this so I'm not going to bore you with "the list".  Bottom line, I could die young and it's not fair to my son to have to lose me at a young age when I have total control over this.  He deserves to have a mother till he's a grown man and a grandmother for his children.  I'll settle for nothing less.

My father's keeper

My weight-loss is like clock work.  Another 5 pounds.  I never deviate from the five pounds.  And I am super fine with that.  I imagine at some point in time it will slow down, but in the meantime, I can't believe I lost 60 pounds!  Back in the summer, I was convinced I needed serious medical intervention to lose weight.  Pills or surgery or hypnosis!  Not in a trillion years did I think I would be doing this on my own.

I met with Dr. Stephen for my second last appointment.  I feel confident I will be able to continue on the diet with the help of my family doctor.  He will monitor my weight and blood pressure after the end of February when the clinic I attend closes.  My blood pressure was a bit up today, but that is expected with all the stress I've been under.

Thanks to all for their support regarding my last post.  The waters have not yet calmed but I think things are headed in the right direction.  I feel a little better about things, but I won't feel completely whole again until everything is resolved (hopefully) on Tuesday.  There is an innocent victim here (my father) and I will do what ever I need to in order to protect his health and well-being.  My father has been put at financial and emotional risk, and it stops now!

On a happier note, I'm really looking forward to starting my learn to run clinic in 5 weeks with Enz.  We walked 5k last weekend.  I got wicked blisters on the backs of my ankles and they are still sore.  When I wear shoes, my ankles are super sore by the end of the day.  By next week I should be fine and able to resume normal activity.

While blog reading I came across a great Turkey Cauliflower Hash recipe that could be altered to become Dr. Poon approved.  Check it out, it's from Roxie-Girl's blog.  To make it Poon friendly, you just need to use olive oil in place of butter, green onion in place of yellow or white onion, and a splash of 1/2 and 1/2 instead of a 1/4 cup of heavy cream (just to moisten it up).    Stay tuned for my pork tenderloin with garlic roasted cauliflower recipe...tomorrow!