Sunday, May 25, 2014

The post about a final sale, eating cake and Niagara Falls fireworks

My current home and my new house.
  • I feel numb. Late last night I signed the final sale agreement for my house. I was overcome with a huge wave of emotion and after I completed my last signature, I put my head down on my dining room table and sobbed like a little girl. I love this house! It breaks my heart to sell it. But I have to do what's best for Julien and his future. I had to jump through a ton of hoops for the buyers and there is more work to complete before closing, but it's done. Signed, sealed and delivered. My real estate agent is awesome. When I had my little breakdown last night, she said, "Leigh if you want, I can make this all go away, and make the new house go away too." She basically told me that if I wanted, we could stay and she'd just resell the new house. The thought crossed my mind for a millisecond, but I know what's best for my boy. It's just hard to let go of this house because of the memories. The most significant being that Finn lived his entire life here. That makes me so sad that I'm leaving his only home. All I can say is that the new owners had better love this house as much as I do.
  • If this deal fell through, there was another buyer waiting to purchase the house. Although we have a ton of work to do before closing (replace the plumbing stack and put a new drain and pipe in the basement), I wanted to work with the buyers we sold to because the other buyer was going to rent the house out. That made me want the sale to go through even more. Regardless of the fact that it would be easier for me to grow a third nipple than have to deal with the list of demands that need to be done before closing, I do not want renters living in my house. I know there are good renters and bad renters. I used to be a renter. But how could I be sure that good renters would move in. They wouldn't love my house like an owner would. So I agreed to do whatever I needed to do so that my buyers were going to be true to the integrity and character of the home. They loved all the period details of this house, so I know that we made the right choice.

Paleo pumpkin loaf and me eating a piece of heavily frosted cake.

  •  My first week of training for the Stockholm Halv Marathon is done. Did I run well? Nope. Still struggling like no one's business. I never thought I'd see the day where running became such a chore for me. I know it's not the running, it's the shit going on in my head. That's what's messing me up. But until my stress is under control (not likely until August), I'm anxious as all get out. And I will not stop running. I can't. My muscles will turn to mush and if I keep eating the amount of food I do now, I'll gain weight. The only reason I can eat as much as I do is because of the running. I can't start measuring and counting calories now. I haven't done that for years. Running gives me the freedom to eat until I'm full. 
  • Last week I made a Paleo pumpkin loaf for team meeting. Don't ask me for the recipe, because I made it up as I went along and didn't know if it would turn out. It was a huge hit. I will try to recreate it and then post the recipe. Even the non-Paleoists loved it. 
  • I was on snack last week for team meeting, so I brought in my frozen Mother's Day cake that we forgot to take to my in-laws on Mother's Day. I was dared to eat a I didn't! Staged the photo above for Instagram though. My husband saw it and said, "you didn't really..." Nope but I did get purple icing all over my pants. Never again!
Friday night fun in Niagara Falls.

  • Last weekend was Victoria Day long weekend and we were still crazy busy with re-wiring the house.  So Julien didn't get to see fireworks. There are fireworks every Friday, Sunday and Wednesday over the Falls until Labor Day. So I promised Julien we'd go to Niagara on Friday and see the fireworks. We headed out after dinner and Julien got to play in the arcade for a couple hours before we walked down to the Falls for the fireworks display. Should have been a spectacular sight! Nope. Couldn't see anything because of the smoke and mist from the falls. Heard the fireworks and saw the big bright cloud, but sadly no actual fireworks could be seen past the first few minutes. Julien said it was a bust. But we still had fun. 
  • Now that the house is sold and Uncle John can't begin the work that needs to be done for a few weeks, I guess we start packing and purging. There is a ton of stuff I can get rid of. And I need to. Although I feel such heavy sadness right now, I will always have my memories.  Moving to the new house will build a whole new batch of memories. Julien growing up, graduating from university and hopefully one day bringing his own family to visit. I need to look forward and focus on his future. Memories are a powerful thing. And just like the loved one's I have already lost, this house will live on forever in my heart.


  1. It's ok to grieve the loss of the home you love. But I look forward to hearing about it as you settle into the new house, life gets back to normal, and hopefully the stress and anxiety go away. :)

  2. I like your new front porch...a few steps added to your exercise routine, though ;)

  3. Congrats!! And it's perfectly normal to grieve leaving a home/house. When I had finished removing the last of my things from my last home with my ex husband (which he graciously allowed me to do without him present)...I sat on the bottom stairs, looked around, and cried. And asked myself if I really could leave this house (staying meant reconciling with him.) I had to actually think long and hard, because it was the best home I ever owned. But I couldn't live with a man I couldn't trust, and couldn't afford to buy his half in it, so I had to gather myself, emotionally say goodbye to a home I had loved and poured my soul and decorating self into, and walk out. One of the harder moments in my life. It was harder to 'divorce' that house than it was to divorce him, in that moment. So I get it, my sweet friend. Different circumstances, but same kind of hearts. :)

  4. Your new home will become just that... "your home". Memories will be made there and perhaps you'll get another dog there. Yes it's sad to leave but the future is looking great for you in that new house :)

  5. Both the homes look so lovely, the current one looks victorian and the new looks new! Hugs Leigh!

  6. Hey Leigh!!! I've lived in my parents house for quite a while and I remember when a huge crisis hit Argentina back in 2001. It was really bad as my dad lost his business and they were talking about leaving the country, changing school, leaving my friends, my family, my city, my language...everything was fine for me until I realized that also implied leaving my house behind. Memories would come to me invading every sense. I know it is a struggle just to think about it but I hope you stay strong specially if you believe this is the right step to take!

    Just wanted to let you know i'm back at the blogging world now with a new blog: Feel free to pass by and drop a line if you'd like :)

    Have a good week!


  7. Time passes, life evolves ....memories are with us, and we continue to make new and exciting ones.

    As you leave your old home - look forward to happy years in your new one. Can't wait to share your journey.

    Take care and have a good weekend

    All the best Jan

  8. The day you move into your new home you will stop feeling so bad about leaving your present home... I promise! I've moved about 39 times as an adult! It is a great way to get rid of stuff you never use!