Saturday, September 22, 2012

A picture is worth a thousand words

I'm a visual person.  People telling me daily that I look great doesn't really sink in, or in my convoluted mind, I don't believe them.  Don't get me wrong, it's nice to hear, but a little part of me wonders if they really mean it!  Silly I know.  This is all a huge process, weight-loss.  Losing the weight is the easy part.  Letting go of my fat girl image and being completely accepting of who I have become is much harder.  I know that I look different...better.  But when I look in the mirror, all that I see are my flaws.  I think that is true for everyone, but I finally want to learn to  love myself unconditionally.  Something I have never been able to do before.

I posted a picture of my rear end the other day in my beautiful leather coat, and it took a lot for me to do that.  Mostly because all I could see were my saddle bags and amply padded behind.  Then I came across some photos of me at Julien's baptism (see back and side photos below). I weigh about 295ish here, not much difference in weight from last September when I began  my journey. Putting photos side by side really help me see the progress I have accomplished.  Instead of being so critical, I need to give myself a pat on the back.

I am learning to love myself more and more every day, but it will take time to get to a truly happy place with myself.  Should I be proud of what I've accomplished since it was my fault I ended up at 300 pounds in the first place?  It's not like I had an uncontrollable medical condition that made me obese.  I made me obese.  I read other weight-loss blogs and find so many stories truly inspiring. Why can't I feel like that about my own?  Because I have always set my own bar way too high.

I mean I had a pretty uneventful childhood.  I wasn't abused or anything.  So why was food my comfort?  Maybe a little more self-exploration is in order for me to get the root of my unhealthy relationship with food.  Talking to a professional about this can only help me.  This along with a solid maintenance plan and exercise is the only way I will be able to successfully keep the weight off once I lose my last 20 pounds.

The stats and odds are not in my favour.  The same old stat has been floating around for years. That 95% of people who lose a significant amount of weight regain it in three years.  I have been that statistic before.  I did lose a hundred pounds and regain it (in way less than 3 years).  I've said it before and I'll say it again, maintenance is where the real hard work begins.   I didn't work this hard over the last year for nothing, and I definitely don't want to become another statistic...again.  I can finally say (and mean it), that I'm worth more than that.

Taken July 2011.
290ish...
Taken September 18th.
179 pounds.
Taken January 2008.
295ish...
Taken September 16th.
179ish...
Same as above.
Same as above.
                               
                                 
                               


19 comments:

  1. Wow! What a difference in those pictures! You must feel great! That's quite and achievement.

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  2. Congratulations Leigh! I just have one question: why are you holding an empty plate in your July 2011 photo standing in front of the brick building? And don't say because you were regional president of the "clean your plate" club;)

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    1. Lol. I was at colonial Williamsburg and i'm holding the map:-)

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  3. Total transformation. Love it.

    I think your idea to talk to a counselor is a good one. You've gone through a total transformation in your life. Talking to someone objective about it may be helpful. I had a counselor during a big ( non weight) change in my life. If found it so helpful and every single day is easier for me now. My life is totally changed by trying and thinking the "assignments " that she gave me.

    It's key to identify with the thin you. Also read that "refuse to regain" book. Lots of good transition advise for going from loss to maintnence without regain. Good luck. Rooting for you. Karen P

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  4. So happy for you. Let's determine to be a part of the 5% OK?

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  5. Wow. What a difference in a year! You look great. Would you believe I have had people actually tell me that once I get to goal I will probably gain my weight back and maybe more. I am determined not to

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  6. You look amazing! The only statistic you are going to be is the 5% that keep the weight off!!! : )

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  7. Amazing pictures! Maintenance is work and the occasional fall down, pick yourself back up routine as well. I have my goal weight which I try to stay at least two pounds below. When I get too close to my goal weight I go back to being strict with my diet and exercise.

    My WW leader says the most important thing to learn is "the art of recovery." I think she is right. Over and over I've lost weight and then inched back up to where I started. It does not have to be that way. You have accomplished so much and you can continue and maintain too. :)

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  8. Your 100% right, your definitely worth more than that!

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  9. Gahhhhh, from the inside out you are friggin amazing :0) As for the stats -- give them no power, you're not a number on the scale, (you've already learned that) so why fear and identify with the number of a statistic? Thats just not you :) I do think talking to someone professionally can prove helpful if you still have any uncertainty and doubt though. <3

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  10. That's crazy!! You are looking great congratulations!!

    EMILIO!

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  11. You look great. Photos are definitely proof of progress. I am trying to take photos every six months or so. Again, you look great!

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  12. Thanks for sharing your amazing journey. The before and after pics are incredible! I have found that with pounds loss, so much of the emotional reasons we put on weight come flooding up to meet us. Like you, I'm bound and determined not to be another sad statistic.

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  13. What an absolutely amazing transformation! I have no doubt that there'll be no regain this time. :)

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  14. Oh girl I understand totally. How do I love myself? I have no answer to that sure wish I did. Julie(another blogger) told me to take a pic of myself in unders and look at each body part and come up with something I am positive about it for. I haven't done that yet..just taking the picture scares the bejeebers out of me!

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  15. I am so glad you are seeing what the rest of us are seeing.

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  16. Amazing! That's what you are!!!!

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  17. You know, I wonder (and truth be told, worry a bit too) about rebounding when I'm at maintenance. It's happened 3 times before. I really wish that I knew a cast iron method to stop this from happening. I just hit goal, and I feel as if the blog is the only thing that is new compared to the other 3 times.

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