Saturday, March 23, 2013

Wish you were here

My mother when she was 18.
Circa 1949
I got up at 6am and ran this morning.  An easy run before The Bay tomorrow.  I felt good.  I had a good pace (6:39 per kilometer) and I felt like I could have gone for 6 more kilometers, but I had to keep it short.  My physiotherapist taped my feet for The Bay yesterday which was fine, but the tapes came off in the shower after my run.  I'll be running tapeless tomorrow!  During my run this morning I heard this Pink Floyd song (Wish You Were Here) and it brought tears to my eyes.  I always miss my mother more before or during holidays and Easter is a week away.  But I was also thinking about the Around the Bay tomorrow and wishing that she was here to see me run.

My mother has only known me morbidly obese.  Throughout my life, she tried everything she could to get me healthy.  Some of it was supportive, some of it not so much.  But I know that whatever she did, she did because she loved me.  She wanted me to live a long happy life.  Regrets?  I definitely have a few.  My biggest regret though?  Not getting healthier sooner.  I wish I was ready 15 or even 20 years ago to take control of my life.  It would have been a relief to my mother if she knew that I lost all the weight and became a runner.  Me being healthy wouldn't have prolonged her life.  Cancer cut her life short.  But my getting healthy would have given her one less thing to worry about.  I hope she can see me now.  I know she would be proud of me and at least I have that to hold in my heart.

I'm feeling very emotional today.  While I was writing the paragraph above, I got an e-card from my former running coach/mentor Carol who's in Regina, SK.  She wished me luck in The Bay tomorrow and said she wished she could run it too.  Made me cry.  I am such a baby.  I haven't signed up for it yet, but as soon as my MasterCard gets replaced (it was used fraudulently in California last week), I'm registering for the Niagara Falls Women's Half Marathon.  Carol's already registered and at least I'll get to run in one race with her!

Today was a special day.  I trekked out to Keswick to meet a group of women who also follow the Dr. Poon lifestyle.  What a wonderful bunch of people.  I felt a little awkward at first because although I know these people via the Dr. Poon Facebook support page, I have never met any of them in person before.  They know way more about me than I know about them because I post my blog to the Facebook page.  My apprehension was short lived because they all made me feel very welcome.  We talked about following the diet and the struggles that go along with that.  It was great to hear from people who know exactly what I go through on a daily basis.  I like knowing that I'm not alone.

We talked about advice that you would give a "newbie" to the lifestyle.  My advice was what I personally did for the duration of the diet, and still do today since I'm back on Phase 1.  I made two week goals for myself, that I would follow the diet to the best of my ability. I told myself that I can do anything for two weeks.  I'm not committing to a month, or a lifetime, just two weeks.  After the two weeks, I would re-evaluate and make a goal for the next two weeks.  I had 130+ pounds to lose and thought I would never get there.  It seemed like an endless road for me.  But two weeks turned into two months, then six months, then a year, then 18 months, and here I am 125 pounds lighter.  Life is short and I wish I had been in the right space to be ready to do this earlier.  I'm not going to dwell on that, but my other piece of advice?  Don't waste anymore time.  You'll never get it back and life is just too precious.

A wonderful group of women!