Thursday, September 17, 2015

The post about why I'm a self absorbed narcissist...

  • It's #coffeetime and I'm beat. I may actually rest today. My body aches. Most namely my booty and hamstrings. I've my trainer tomorrow morning and I think I need to rub all the Voltaren on me in prep for tomorrow. I hate not giving 100% at the gym. Gotta stop beating myself up when I need to rest. Haven't rested since Friday so I think I need to give myself a break. 
  • My arm surgery is less than a week away. It's crazy how quickly that time has passed. Gotta get my prescriptions filled and stock up on polysporin and gauze. Today I have a lot of paper work to do and clients to touch base with. I spent all day yesterday in my car. I'm going to spend as little time as possible in my car today...

  • It's #sunroofselfie and #winetime together. Let's talk about the sunroof selfie first. See my upper thigh fat? This time next week that will be gone. Extreme weight loss means that sometimes you're left with problem areas that no matter how much you work, you can't make them go away. Those areas for me are my arms and upper outer thighs. I'm a firm believer that if plastic surgery will build confidence, go for it. No matter what your body issues are. 
  • I record my progress for me. If you wanna come along for the ride, you're welcome to. But this is my online diary, which happens to be public. I will never apologize for taking pictures of myself. I write a blog and have an Instagram account for me. 
  • When you look like I used to for the majority of your life and you worked your ass off to get healthy, I think you earned the right to post as many pictures of your success as you want to. And that rule applies to anyone. Your platform, your content, your rules. 
  • If you want to unfollow me, do so. No explanation is needed. Telling me I'm a self absorbed narcissist is futile. I know I am. Every time I see myself I am speechless because I never imagined in a million years that I would look the way I do. So you're preaching to the choir. 
  • It's taken me years to work on my confidence and more days than not I'm still down on myself. Something I work on everyday is my self esteem. Losing all that weight did not fix my head or my body image issues. They're still there. But everyday I consciously work on self love. Seeing myself helps me to accept the body that I have now. My brain needs to catch up with the rest of me. Because in my mind, I'm still morbidly obese. But I'm getting there. Slowly but surely I'm getting there. So I'll continue to post whatever I want on my forums. 
  • I appreciate my followers and the amazing support you all give me. I'm not the best at responding to comments, but I read them all and you guys rock:-)

  • Today's last word is with Smitty. Funny thing about taking a rest day. I can't seem to stop eating. Although, I'm not gonna lie. My snack calories? Mostly wine. Interesting observation though. When I'm not active, I want to eat. When I am active, I can't get enough calories into me for the day. I feel so much better for having rested and I'm going to kill it at the gym tomorrow morning. HIIT and all. It will be my last work out with Tony for a few weeks. I'm going to miss him. He cracks me up! 
  • A couple body observations made today. I believe my thigh gap is officially gone. I've developed quite the inner thigh muscle and my thighs touch when I stand tall. They don't rub when I walk tho. I'm a touch bow legged. And the checkered top I wore today? I can't button it across my bosom. I haven't worn it since spring. It's because of my Hulk like pecs, shoulders and back. Fuck that and the miniature pony you rode in on sir! (Doesn't make much sense to put this here, but I saw it on Facebook and wanted to incorporate it in my post somehow because it cracked me up) I'm still boobless:-( Pic above; case and point! I'm off to bed. Up early for the gym...